That is a lovely poem in honor of the feeling of spring.
I especially like the second stanza, "The songs of the birds / in verse without words / filled the sky of blue. / And in the top of the trees / the wind sang melodies / just as singers do," and the warmth of the lines, "The sun long ago / had melted the snow / in exuberant anticipation [...]."
My one major recommendation concerns the last stanza. Its meaning is beautiful. However, since the earlier three stanzas follow a pleasing rhyme scheme of aabccb, I expected the last stanza to follow it also. Now, maybe this change was intentional, representing that spring creates something new (!), but breaking from the previous rhyme scheme pattern was a little surprising to me, making me think more about the poem's structure than its meaning.
Also, I believe that "sun rise" and "sun rises" should be "sunrise" and "sunrises," respectively.
I enjoyed the airy, happy mood of your melodic rap. Thanks for sharing!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
|
|