Quote:
Originally Posted by Cicatrice
Bathory is always a favorite of mine. Quorthon is a genius in my opinion. I understand what you mean by epic metal being a bit hard to pin point in terms of what exactly makes it epic. I think bands like Summoning while okay for occasional listen over do it and just come across as a bit cheesy. And generally, that's the same problem I run into with a lot of power metal, too. While there's no doubt its 'epic' it comes across as a bit over done and cheesy. Then again, perhaps that makes no sense coming from me considering I love epic doom metal. Anyway, I'm rambling.
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I will repudiate your claims with this post...
Manowar
Yeah... I'm sure there are many out there who see Manowar as nothing else but an embarrassment to metalheads everywhere, but **** you. Manowar rules, and they can be as epic as Sigurd's toilet paper, and about as classy. If Bathory is the Tolkien of epic metal (intelligent and well written), then Manowar is Conan (big beefy arms). Now don't get me wrong, not all Manowar qualifies as epic metal. "All Men Play On Ten" is
not epic metal. It's stupid. I love it. But it's stupid. Here's some of the others...
This and "Dark Avenger" were the odd men out on their first album. Most of
Battle Hymns wasn't much more than Judas Priest worship, but these two songs hinted at a "grander" vision, a vision that they would explore more with the next album,
Into Glory Ride. It's true for Bathory as well, but I think the reason I don't find a lot of power metal to be particularly epic is the speed. Epicness (not a word) requires you to use your imagination, and too many notes can fill in all the spaces your mind is supposed to go, while a slower tempo allows your mind to fill in the blanks. This song is certainly slow and heavy, and with lyrics imploring you to "Kill! Kill!" the grinding riff/drum combination invokes a martial atmosphere of armies on the march that speaks to an ancient, primal warrior instinct (I'm wearing sandals). Cheesy as **** this song may be, but there's a majesty there too if you can quit taking yourself so seriously long enough to hear it.
Holy **** nuggets this song is badass. If Manowar are good at one thing, it's making you want to do things, whether that be bang your head, or draw your sword. From the word "Go!" this song is a shot of pure adrenaline, with Eric Adams' vocals sweeping you up with his charisma and passion in order to make you a soldier of metal (that's as cheesy as it sounds, but Manowar couldn't give less of a ****). Whenever I listen to this song there is a blade in my hand so almost-real that I can almost decapitate the nearest poseur. It's epic in the most brainless way possible, but if Helm's Deep had a theme this would be it.
I don't think it's possible for this band to not sound cheesy, yet they can still summon honest-to-god majesty sometimes. Not bowing in the face of adversity isn't exactly the most original of themes, but Manowar manage to make it into a soaring epic that demands nothing less than total commitment to... well, whatever. Metal probably.
Manowar's second album is one of the most epic things I've ever heard. After the first song the whole thing is pretty much straight epic metal. Any one of those songs could go here, but I figured I'd mention this one. It's probably the only metal anthem that I'd describe as "epic" (most Manowar songs are about metal to some extent, but this one is just
more explicit) and only Manowar would have the lack of common sense to even try, let alone accomplish such a task. The slow, martial beat that could be the backing track to Conan the Barbarian killing a dragon while getting a blow job is instead calling the hordes of metal to battle. Glorious.
Just don't watch the music video. It is
not epic.
A true Manowar battle song doesn't just call the metal faithful to arms, it invokes the moment of victory, when your blade is about to fall upon the neck of your enemy (be he poseur, orc, or your manager at Burger King). It is at once both promise and fulfillment, since victory is of course assured. "Hail and Kill" is perfect at this. At this very moment I can almost see my old manager fleeing before the hooves of my war steed as I bring my great war hammer down upon his douchebag head.