trying to have an accurate picture of reality is important to me. not that i am saying i don't have delusions and not that i'm assuming atheism is correct. i just think the idea of believing whatever you think would make you feel good cause the truth doesn't ultimately matter is intellectually lazy and doesn't really appeal to me. some amount of delusion is inevitable, but i won't willfully (and consciously) take on new delusions to achieve some pragmatic goal. if i die with a slightly more accurate picture of reality in exchange for a slightly more grim picture of reality then to me the trade off is worth it.
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