Music Banter - View Single Post - Should I give up on my dream?
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Old 06-25-2014, 03:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
wearewater
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Nobody can or should tell you to give up or keep trying, only your decision matters.

It all depends on what your passions and dreams are worth. Is becoming a composer truly a dream of yours? A driving desire of your heart? ...why? What have you done so far to make your dream come true?

You ask a question that every individual on the planet has struggled with in their mind at some point. "Is what I want worth the effort and risks to achieve it?" Of course, everyone 'knows' they should never give up on their dreams ..so why is it so easy to do? There really are only two answers; fear -or- the dream was never true to begin with.

You say that your inability to fully express emotion is holding you back from pursuing becoming a composer. Define this for yourself; how would you quantify "full emotional health"? Is it an ability to express any emotion, or the ability to simply express that emotion at all? Is it the destination, or the journey -forever a work in progress? Anger, frustration & sadness are all emotions that can be expressed in music. You demand that these particular emotions not be a part of your music, so you require from yourself emotions which you aren't experiencing. How can you give something you don't have? Instead, you find yourself angry that you're angry. Realize this; depression is a living thing. It seeks to keep itself alive by feeding on the destructive thoughts and emotions that it alone creates by using loss in the past, and fear for the future. It'll prevent you from trying, and then punish you for it.

I don't know the source of your chronic depression, whether some inner turmoil you face or a chemical imbalance, but if you truly desire to make music that expresses the emotions which you don't seem to possess at this time, you ought to begin by seeking those emotions and sorting out the source of your depression, don't you think? Let music become the byproduct, and your happiness the focus. Understand that what you experience is normal. Forgive yourself for it, starve the anger that feeds on itself and let a vision of yourself being happy be your driving force.

So your question isn't so much whether you should give up, but rather is making music really your dream or are you just afraid to try?
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