Today were the entrance exams at the conservatoire.
It can be seen in a positive or negative way... and I'm sorting out my thoughts right here so...
Negative: I did not pass the exam. Half of the commission says no, the other one yes.
Positive: I got taken as pre-student because my professor and half of the commission believes that I have got potential.
Positive: I will be able to catch up the things I messed up easily in 4 months and only miss 4 months of the "real" study.
Negative: All financial aid will fall away.
Negative: I will have to quit my Saturday Job - it causes health problems, also I have seminars on Saturdays.
Positive: I am able to start a tutoring job at a tutoring center in October. 15€ per 90 min-session only...
Negative: Lessons held in the afternoon when I might have to be at the conservatoire.
Positive: At the first months I have no obligations of being present at the conservatoire.
On the one hand I feel like I have wasted my time, and I WILL waste time.
On the other one I am happy I got a chance, so at least 50% of people are not completely coldhearted.
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Sometimes the - silence - guides your mind.
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