THE POST WHERE I PROVE MY MANLINESS
IN ALL CAPS FOR EMPHASIS!! Nevermind that's just annoying. With Trollheart's metal month still ongoing, I've decided to honor his sacrifice listening to Jansz' grindcore albums by listening to one (JUST ONE) myself. You hear THAT BATTY, JANSZ? What's that? You can't hear me because I'm not saying anything huh? Well I guess you'll never see my special journal review of
GRINDCORE
I decided to forgo recommendations and just find a random band. I literally just chose a random letter and took the first band. I ended up with...
Xysma
Xysma is a Finnish grind/death band, and yada, yada, yada...none of that is important. I decided to review their first demo LP (
The Swarming of the Maggots), since apparently that's the only thing they did that's true grind. Says here they did rock combined with death metal after that. Well that sounds like ****, wonder why they did that. Oh god, that must mean this demo is either ****, or one of the heaviest things in existence. Well, I guess I'll find out. The title of this demo is called
Swarming of the Maggots and appropriately has a fitting album cover of...whatever that is.
The first track is an intro track, with some drone-stuff to start off with then some of that vague incoherent chanting/choir stuff that sounds...cheap. Now the first track is playing, "Pulsating cerebral slime," and well I appear to have dodged a serious bullet here as this is at least bearable. Certainly heavy though, that guitar tone is exceptional, the vocals are alright, but the best is at the end of the song when they go full demonic-growl voice for a few seconds. That wasn't bad, mostly because it was only 34 seconds.
Okay this next song "Pulverized Necrobrains" is sick. The guitar playing is exactly the kind of stuff I like, and when the guitars aren't chugging along, I'm at least immune to the vocals, as I count myself among a lover of Sarco***o. It's going to be hard to top this, but let's see.
Hmm, "festering sore" sounds promising–never mind it's over. Forgot that grind does that. "Procreated from blood" slows down the tempo a bit, which allows the drumming to really shine for a few moments. woah then there's this furious guitar solo that sounds more like nails scrapping on a chalkboard than Slayer worship. More bands should do something like that.
These guys should win an award for these song titles. Both because of the actual title, and some of them are a bitch to spell. "Unaesthetic genitplasty" the **** is that? Never mind I'm not looking it up, I know better than that. Oh wow, for the song with one of the most intimidating song titles so far, "Fetid gurgitation" is a frightening six seconds. Might have to look up the lyrics to that song, maybe the lyrics are so putrid they just cut the song after the first verse.
"Fleshaw" (clever title by the way
) is the first song from this album I would like to never hear again. That's right Batty, I do NOT like all the songs on this album. The guitar playing is great, but the vocals are just a tad too much for me. Uh the complex song titles continue with "pathologists perevesrljadjfad." I don't ****ing know what it says. It's 2:38 in the morning, and I'm not going to spend 30 seconds to figure out the title to song that's...hahaha, wow, that's only 22 seconds–so yeah, I'm not doing that.
Alright "Priests formed in excrement" returns to the chugging guitar riffs that I liked so much on the second track. Very tight stuff. I have no idea what the hell is going on in "charred limbs" it opens with what sounds like should be the
ending of a song, then it goes into this watery trance part that continues until the song fades out. The word strange comes to mind.
Ah "Drown Oneself" is another great song with some chugging guitar riffs. The next song is titled "Burbed Rectum" and that should tell you all you need to know about that. Wow, it's 2 minutes, guess I should pay attention then. This one has some upbeat, non-double bass drumming that sounds great. Hm, that was at least moderately satisfying. "Evisceration" has a part in the middle I like, but it's mostly the same.
Well that's all the tracks worth discussing. This album wasn't that bad, and the few songs I liked from it I would probably place on the level of my extreme metal playlist of "play occasionally." The rest not so much. Alright, that's all for now, I'm going to bed.