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Pet_Sounds · 10-13-2014, 08:53 PM

I think overall you need to pay attention to your phrasing and use more descriptive words. It feels choppy right now. Good concept, though, and I can imagine it set to music.

10-13-2014, 08:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
Pet_Sounds Remember the underscore Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: The other side Posts: 2,489	I think overall you need to pay attention to your phrasing and use more descriptive words. It feels choppy right now. Good concept, though, and I can imagine it set to music. __________________ Everybody's dying just to get the disease