Its not bad but it uses some cliched lines.
Quote:
And I die at the end of the day,
But left with just enough life,
To hear my heart stop.
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Quote:
Winter brings me back,
And I’m warmed by your beauty.
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I would suggest trying to come back to this song later on. The rhythm is good, but some of the imagery is overdone. Plus it feels rather disjoint from stanza to stanza