TFW I've just jerked off about five seconds ago, and now I'm hungry. So, I put on my slacker pajama bottoms, and my Punisher shirt, cause that's how I roll, and I go out to the kitchen. Now, after a few seconds of browsing the cupboards (and deciding on some bombass Velveeta macaroni and cheese), I realize that I have just a touch of asthma. Usually, shaking hands with the governor isn't enough to give me respiratory problems, but I was doing some yard work earlier, and I guess I got some dirt or something in my throat and my lungs, which has now been disturbed from its rest. It's nothing too serious, but that, combined with the "recent exertion", is leaving me just a tad short of breath.
Here's my problem. In order to breath comfortably, I'm gonna have to start inhaling a bit harder, and I know it will be audible. And my mom sleeps right next to the kitchen. Without a door. There's absolutely zero chance that I'm gonna be able to start breathing hard without her hearing it. And there's absolutely no possible reason I can be breathing hard at 11:30 at night, unless I've been spanking the monkey. There's just no other explanation.
And so I gasp for air in silence.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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