Is anyone here good depression and extreme hostility? I've been having some problems lately with it, not enough to physically hurt someone, but it's still pretty bad. I've read that it's supposedly wanting to feel "strong or capable". I feel no need for either, just an obsessive need for people to hate me and to want to make people feel so miserable that they feel like utter garbage. I don't know why, but I've done this several times to force people away from me, and when in this state I've made people cry, and I've told them how worthless and disgusting they are just to watch them bawl even more. I don't feel strong when I do this, but I get off on how much they hate me. I've also faked being crazy in my moody states for some reason, I don't know why, but I go to such extents that I tell them I hear voices and that I can hear them say things like "You should kill yourself" and "I don't really like you" in some weird way in justifying my disassociation with friends/family. I've gone so far as to make my own mother cry and make her say she wants to kill herself, granted this hasn't happened in quite some time, and it was only once. Does anyone here with depression have a really sadistic side, or is it just me?
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