For all the slagging off I have given it --- and will continue to give it, through next year --- there's no doubt that some of the episodes of Seth MacFarlane's sister show (I suppose I should say brother, shouldn't I? Screw that!) to
Family Guy are terrific, and one thing they certainly know how to do in Langley Falls is Christmas. Whereas the other show's Christmas show was a hodge-podge of Kiss-related in-jokes and some ripping off of the Simpsons (how surprising!),
American Dad just went right out there with their festive shows, the one I want to look at being their fourth, broadcast in the middle of the sixth (or seventh, if you're in America) season.
American Dad: “For whom the sleigh bell tolls”
(Again, sorry, no video on YouTube)
It's, you know, Christmas, and Stan is getting increasingly annoyed about the childlike wonder displayed by Jeff, even though he's now married to his daughter. Jeff still believes in Santa Claus, and while Haley thinks this is wonderful, Stan is contemptuous of the man. Does he want to remain a child forever? Francine is worried when her husband tells her he plans to get Steve a gun for Christmas. She makes Stan promise not to, but of course he goes ahead and does so anyway. Steve is less than impressed: he's hardly the gun type. Roger, unable to make an eggnog that can get him drunk, is told of a mysterious legendary moonshiner who lives atop a mountain and may be able to help him.
Stan takes Steve shooting, but when he aims at a snowman in a mall (why? It's a bloody machine gun for Chrissakes? There are children and women about! This is Stan for ya) he accidentally kills a mall Santa. He tries to hide the fact from his wife but Francine discovers the body, which Stan has put in his car while he tries to run the guy's fingerprints. Oddly, the CIA database doesn't seem to have them. Unwilling to have her Christmas ruined, Francine suggests burying the body in the woods. Roger finds the old moonshiner, who goes by the name of Bob Tod. He says he will show Roger how to brew the strongest whiskey on Earth.
Meanwhile, the family start getting mysterious messages claiming to know what they did, and when it becomes apparent that there is no Christmas spirit in Langley Falls, they begin to worry that the mall Santa Steve killed could be ... the real Santa Claus? When they return to the grave they find to their shock that it is empty. Then an elf appears, mounted on a roaring, fierce stag, and tells them that although it was the real Santa they shot, he is not dead but recovering at the North Pole. The elf grins, promising that Santa will return on Christmas Eve to kill them all.
Roger offers them shelter at Bob Tod's. The moonshiner has no love for Santa, and helps them when Jolly Old Saint Nick attacks. Jeff joins them, but when Stan finds out that the reason Santa was able to find them in their hideout is that Jeff told him where to deliver his present, he throws Hayley's husband out of the shack as the hordes of Santa descend, vengeance in their hearts. He comes back though and asks to help them fight, but just then Santa woos him away with a horned helmet he had asked for on his Christmas List. Torn between staying with his wife and accepting his present --- (“You don't have to die with the Smiths, Jeff! You're a GOOD little boy!”) --- he goes to Santa, dons the helmet as Stan snarls at him that he knew he was not good enough for his daughter, then headbutts Santa, who falls, wounded, while Jeff runs back to help Stan.
Seeing Jeff has risked his life to save him, even though he does not like him, Stan finds a new appreciation for Jeff and he is finally accepted into the family. They prepare to go out fighting --- “Whaddya say we go out there, Jeff, and die as a family?” --- but just as it seems they will be overwhelmed by superior numbers, Christmas Day dawns. Santa snarls that he only had till this point to eliminate the Smiths, and retreats in fury to the North Pole, wounded but swearing to return next year to finish the job.
(There are a lot of things wrong with this episode, many dichotomies but you'll have to wait till I get to it in the Dad vs Dad feature before I'll talk about them, otherwise it'll be Christmas and I'll have nothing else written!)
QUOTES
Stan: “Just because you married him does not make him part of this family.”
Hayley: “Actually, it does, dad. And you need to get used to that.”
Francine: “I got wooden clogs to put around the Christmas tree. I'm starting a new Christmas tradition.”
Stan: “What was wrong with our old one? Allowing homeless people to smell our napkins after Christmas dinner?”
Stan: “Relax, Steve. Part of gun ownership is killing people accidentally.”
Jeff: “I wanna help, Mister S.”
Stan: “You want to help, Jeff? Stand here and shield me from arrows until you die!”
Francine (reading Santa's parting note): “
You were lucky this time, Smiths. But I'll be back next year to kill you. Oh my God! Looks like we found our new Christmas tradition!”