If you want to become a song writer then NEVER USE THAT SONG. I don't like to be nasty and I have posted bad things about people who post unhelpful comments about other peoples songs in the past, but honestly that is a REALLY BAD SONG. If you want to know what is wrong with it then I will tell you-everything. Some lines are longer than others, it is all over the place, the words are abysmal. You must divide the arts of song writing and story telling, because at the moment you seem to be doing both. Song writing is supposed to take you to a different place-and while this does take me to a different place, it is a place I would rather not be.... have another try, right all those wrongs then post it. In the meantime let's all forget that this song was ever wrote.
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