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Originally Posted by Zyrada
There's definitely some good ideas in the progression, although I think it lacks drive because the bass note stays within a pretty narrow range. I only hear the bass move outside the G-B range twice: Third chord of the third bar going up to D, and last chord of the last bar going down to F. The D also sounds a little incongruous because the bass is otherwise completely static in the third bar, and then it jumps by a larger interval than at any other point in your progression.
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Thanks, I think I'd agree there that it's lacking due to the bass note. I've actually adjusted it just a tad since I first posted it so it's a little less jarring and carries through a bit more smoothly, though I still need to fine tune it a bit. The jump in the third bar is a little harsh, you're right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyrada
Also, since you specifically referenced Pyramid Song, I can see the inspiration with your use of suspensions. Were you intending for their resolutions to move away from where they would typically go? There's nothing wrong with messing around with suspensions or voice-leading, of course, it's just important to do so with intent. Since you use the G suspension and A suspension chords in the same place within their respective groupings, I can see potential for some parallel form. Even with your chords, you can make the progression sound strangely pleasing if you let people hear repeating ideas and forms.
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I really wanted to play with suspension, but it came out of nowhere really. I originally wanted to do a piece in 5/4, but I left the last beat in each bar empty, which created a pretty interesting dynamic, and then I added an extra beat in on the last bar to throw it off slightly. I guess I just wanted a progression that would be slightly mysterious and intriguing to follow, and I was toying with the idea of making a warped, up-tempo, anti-IDM thing with it, like an evil dance number that's strangely difficult to dance to. However, I think I prefer the low tempo feel. Parallel form is a good call, that would definitely be interesting and fit as you said. As I want the progression to be at the forefront of the piece, it seems like a natural extension to add some Periods within it. I'll give it some thought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyrada
Overall, I think you'd benefit from trimming down the progression a bit and focusing on developing smaller parts of it before throwing it out in one big chunk. Maybe put out bits and pieces of it, allowing it to accumulate further down the line.
I could say a lot more, but I'd like to hear your thoughts first.
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Agreed, that's probably a good idea, there's definitely a lot of finenessing and adjustment needed. May add some more variety within it and extend it slightly. Thanks for the feedback, I'll keep this updated.