Originally Posted by WhateverDude

There's self destructive hedonism and there's just hedonism. I take from both and am pretty aware of how immature and stupid the self destructive part is, it's just taking me a while to figure out why I get like that and stop myself. I like to party and I pretty much can't say no. But I try and back that up with some work ethic, moral sense, empathy, and appreciation for the things that I enjoy. All that negativity pretty much just stems from me trying to figure out how to balance all of that and get over things that have been bothering me about my family/some important people in my life. I get in that negative space when I'm completely sober, too... it really makes no difference.