A Dreamy Interlude


I am at a small local music festival. I am walking around nursing a nice cold beer on a warm summers day. I spot a notice hanging off a makeshift barrier. I take a closer look at the notice and I read that Kiss will be playing as a part of the festival at a nearby local theatre. I get excited, I've always wanted to see Kiss perform in full make up. I pull the notice off the wall, put it in my pocket and go find somewhere to refill my beer.

The following day I arrive at the theatre, there doesn't seem to be much of a queue outside. I walk in and nobody seems to ask me for any money or a ticket. I walk in and take a look around and I wonder what a big internationally known band like Kiss are doing playing in a tiny dump like this. I take a seat a couple of rows from the front and relax. After a couple of minutes I'm beginning to wonder where everybody else is. Then a large old lady comes in and takes a seat next to me pinning me in my seat as she sits down. I look around again and notice that more people are coming in but still barely three rows are full, maybe 60 people at most. The lights begin to fall and we all turn our attention to the stage.

The stage appears to look weird, there's the main part of the stage in the middle and there appears to be another stage on top of it tilting at an angle with another two stages to the side. It's difficult to make anything out, we see a few flashes of Kiss shaped silhouettes darting around in the background, is that them? Then we see a huge tongue engulf the stage and we realise what we're watching is actually a intro film, we see the images flash more and more until the begin to pulsate and then suddenly a big explosion and the opening chords to Detroit Rock City ring out......

And it sounds like shit.
The small crowd begin to boo as we hear this song being played through a really tiny shitty amp, the boos get louder and louder until it drowns out the music and then finally the playing stops and 'Gene' and 'Paul' sit at the front of the stage. The lights come up and the huge four part stage turns out to be just one stage surrounded by three big mirrors. The crowd continues to boo and 'Paul' apologises. We quieten down to hear Paul's apology. 'Paul' tells us that Kiss have decided to employ local bands to dress up and don the make up and be Kiss so that on any bill, in any town, in any country Kiss would be able play at every gig in the world from now on. The crowd begin to walk out and in the corner of my eye I see 'Gene' and 'Paul' looking sorry for themselves in front of an empty theatre.
Then I decide I really need a piss, why are there no toilets in this dump?