I know that feels.
I've pretty much given up on my crutches and the more I think about it sober the better I feel. It's weird being so dependent on things that are harmful but feel helpful and when they start to fail you... bad feels. I can't recommend weed enough though, I feel way more aware of myself and others if I just stick to getting baked. The only thing I don't like about it is it can make me too complacent and reclusive.
I'm irritated as **** right now because when I first got this job I thought I was going to have insurance. But apparently so few of my coworkers need/want it that my bosses appear to see it as unnecessary. Or they really are broke and business is not doing well. Seems I'm the scapegoat for that and it might be justified but therapy right now is more than I'm willing to pay for without insurance and I really can't control my less commendable features all the time.
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I spit bullets in my feet
Every time I speak
So I write instead
And still people want me dead
~msc
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