Originally Posted by The Batlord

So, one time I decided to spend my summer on a pirate ship, right? Everything was going great: looting, pillaging, wenching. That whole deal. But then one day this massive storm hit our boat.

The waves had to be at least twenty feet high. The rain was coming down in sheets and you could barely see a few feet in front of you. The wind was blowing with such ferocity that it threatened to lift you right off your feet and out into the ocean.

I was about to go below deck so that I didn't get washed overboard, when I saw the captain steering the ship... with his balls tied to the wheel. So I went up to the captain and asked him, "Doesn't it hurt to steer the ship with your balls tied to the wheel like that?"

"Arrr! It drives me nuts!"