Originally Posted by skype

oh yea at work today
[12:42:17 AM] Brandon: the boss and a few of his minions were having some banter
[12:42:31 AM] Brandon: about this flatfaced bitch that drives the forklifts
[12:43:08 AM] Brandon: big chunky middle aged woman with a metal guy type hair cute
[12:43:15 AM] Brandon: and a face like a mack truck
[12:43:29 AM] Brandon: always wears a baseball cap as well
[12:44:01 AM] Brandon: well known around the plant for being un****able despite the enormous size of the place
[12:44:20 AM] Brandon: travels around on her forlift so everyone knows who she is
[12:44:30 AM] Brandon: and they were doing the whole
[12:44:39 AM] Brandon: if i paid you x would you **** her
[12:44:55 AM] Brandon: and all standing around saying nah wouldnt touch that
[12:45:03 AM] Brandon: nah you couldnt pay me
[12:45:28 AM] Brandon: then one black dude said you'd have to pay me 500 dollars
[12:45:31 AM] Brandon: etc
[12:45:50 AM] Brandon: so i overhear all this and i know the gist of the convo but i wasnt sure who it was about
[12:46:14 AM] Brandon: so i inquire and they tell me and of coure they proposition me with it as well
[12:46:46 AM] Brandon: and i think about it for a good 5 seconds then im like yea i'd do it for like 200
[12:46:55 AM] Brandon: no shame
[12:46:59 AM] Brandon: nothing
[12:47:15 AM] david: lmao
[12:47:22 AM] Brandon: they all get a kick out of it and ****
[12:47:45 AM] Brandon: laughing and **** and then the boss dismisses the meeting like back to work
[12:48:10 AM] Brandon: so then about 15 minutes later he comres up to me and hes like 200 huh all smiling and **** still finding it funny
[12:48:35 AM] Brandon: and im like yea i dont wanna come in here every day but i still do it for less than that
[12:48:53 AM] Brandon: 200 for like 30 mins thats easy money
[12:49:09 AM] Brandon: and he's like yea but the memories....
[12:49:20 AM] Brandon: and i was like well i wouldnt look at it sexually really
[12:49:31 AM] Brandon: i'd view it as more of a science experiment
[12:49:48 AM] Brandon: like if u had to help a manatee or some **** like that
[12:50:05 AM] david: lmfao
[12:50:05 AM] david: yea
[12:50:10 AM] david: im like that as well
[12:50:12 AM] Brandon: and he started laughing and was like back to work
[12:50:24 AM] Brandon: and then peopel kept coming up to me all day to talk about it lol
[12:50:31 AM] Brandon: like the word spread instantly
[12:50:32 AM] david: lmfao
[12:50:38 AM] david: was u famous for the day then
[12:50:49 AM] Brandon: just among the temp agency
[12:51:08 AM] Brandon: they know better than to go telling [company name]'s people
[12:51:13 AM] Brandon: sexual harrassment etc
[12:51:45 AM] Brandon: the boss knows his ass would get it good lol cause he instigated the whole thing
[12:51:50 AM] Brandon: but yea
[12:51:59 AM] Brandon: its funny how word spreads like that
[12:52:12 AM] Brandon: cause i never pass on the **** they say to me
[12:52:41 AM] Brandon: but this **** seems to happen damn near every time i come up with new content
[12:53:02 AM] Brandon: i'm really more like a performer i think than a human being
[12:53:10 AM] Brandon: in conversations with random people
[12:53:28 AM] Brandon: i just meander looking for dumb funny **** to exploit
[12:53:51 AM] Brandon: whenever a topic turns serious i usually lose interest
[12:54:10 AM] Brandon: cause most people are too dumb to have a serious convo with them
[12:54:54 AM] Brandon: thats why whenever they ask me on my politics i just say i ondt follow it/dont care
[12:55:13 AM] david: lmao
[12:55:17 AM] Brandon: cause honestly i do have opinions, i care to an extent but im not that invested
[12:55:23 AM] david: yea thats what i say in real life as well
[12:55:29 AM] Brandon: but i do have opinions
[12:55:29 AM] david: cant be ****ed with it with thick people
[12:55:39 AM] Brandon: but i just dont wanna rgue with people all the time about dumb ****
[12:55:57 AM] Brandon: i dont care that they believe dumb ****
[12:56:01 AM] Brandon: doesnt bother me
[12:56:13 AM] Brandon: like black hebrews basically
[12:56:31 AM] Brandon: they can think that moses came from nigeria all they want the **** do i care
[12:57:15 AM] Brandon: i'll judge em and think they're wrong and if they challenge me challenge me i'll say something smart
[12:57:25 AM] Brandon: but overall i let em be
[12:58:38 AM] Brandon: in fact when stupid people express dumb opinions
[12:58:41 AM] Brandon: if its dumb enough
[12:58:51 AM] Brandon: then i'll sort of go along with it
[12:59:13 AM] Brandon: not agree with it but basically ask them questions about it to get them to spell it out in more detail
[12:59:17 AM] Brandon: for my amusement
[1:02:22 AM] Brandon: watching couples thera[y has really opened my eyes
[1:02:45 AM] Brandon: to the fact that white women from california have an annoying ****ing accent
[1:03:18 AM] Brandon: its like a ****ing mockingbird squawking in your ear
[1:04:51 AM] david: lmao