Hey guys, sorry for the long post but I need a bit of advice.
I’d quite like to hear other frontmen’s opinions/strategies here but I’m really interested in everyone’s point of view, since people are so different, it’ll help me understand better I think.
So here’s lowdown:
I’m the singer/ guitarist in a power trio (who else than the frontman would be complaining, eh?
), been playing w/ my bassist and drummer for a few months. I’ll start with the positives: they are both really good musicians, we work quite well together, and while we might not be “best of friends”, we get on well. So far, so good.
Before i started this band, first time I met each one of them and drawing from past experiences, I was REALLY honest that I only wanted to be with people that were going to contribute to the band as much as I did. By that, I mostly mean: promotion/ looking for gigs and generally actively looking for opportunities, the whole administrative part of the process. Somehow I have always been the one in bands taking care of this, and whilst I’ve grown to embrace it and even enjoy it, I’d so much prefer dedicating more time to music (if I were properly supported)..you know the story. It was the typical “me too” answer from them. 5 months in, guess what? I have to do everything.
My bassist is mega busy with his job at the moment, I accept that. He did start designing a logo for us, and actually is the kind of guy that would get things done, just he hasn’t enough time, that’s fine, he was honest with me. My drummer is a different story, I KNOW he has a lot of time, he’s just lazy, and I’m guessing, mostly not interested in that kind fo stuff..I’ve tried many times to speak to him, and still nothing..we even had a band meeting where I addressed all those issues (a month ago), and just as I expected..nothing changed. There’s no point in asking for the same thing endlessly, is there? Clearly, it this was ever gonna happen, it would already have?
It’s hard not to resent people for not caring as much as you do, and while I can accept it, I just want a situation that’s a little fairer for me.
It seems that this happened to me in the last 3 bands that I have been to (over the span ). Maybe I AM the problem? Somehow I’m always the only one with the drive to push on..
In a band where nobody gets paid to do what there is to be done, then how do you get things done?
I do as much as possible for the band cause I cannot NOT care when I decide to get involved in something, it’s just the way I am = I have a goal, so I pursue that goal. But can I blame others for not being as committed/ passionate as I am, or do I just have unrealistic expectations?
Just like everything in life, with the right mindset and effort, I really believe you can achieve a lot. I believe that so much more could be happening and yet I am being denied that, because there’s so much I can do… I already gave up lots to be here (not complaining). It’s just so frustrating when you know how much COULD be achieved but it isn’t..
I feel this is a bit like being in a relationship, if you’re not really ready to do what the your partner does for you an give back/ love equally (or at least contribute to the relationship in some meaningful way), then sooner or later you’ll break up.
Should I just be grateful that at least have good musicians and people to play with? I just find it difficult not to CARE. I care about things cause I love what I do, should I really settle for less?
Which strategy should i adopt now?
What do you guys think?