i understand that you might feel like you do but no one deserves abuse. i don't know how to assure you of that but to an extent i understand the appeal. what i've found to help me is surrounding myself (or at least trying to) with people who are compassionate and supportive rather than dismissive and/or abusive. this guy sounds dangerous, are you truly willing to accept that level of threat in a relationship?
__________________
I spit bullets in my feet
Every time I speak
So I write instead
And still people want me dead
~msc
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