ladyislingering

Pretty much everyone with a heart and a functional brain in their head has said everything I would have mentioned but here are my main problems with how patriarchal values/specifically male gender roles affect men:

"Boys aren't allowed to cry/crying makes you a sissy!"

This is nasty toward both men and women because crying is a completely natural, normal occurrence and nobody should ever be ashamed to cry or show their emotions; on the other side of the coin, implying that crying makes a man "girly" and that he should be ashamed to be "girly" reinforces a negative opinion of women by bringing into a play a stereotypical "female-only" behavior. Crying is therapeutic. Emotions are important and normal.

"You're making THAT fashion/grooming choice? What are you, some kind of girl/gay boy?"

I'm going to use long-haired men as an example here. Some people are really rude about their hairstyle of choice because somehow or another, long hair came to be a feminine choice. Again, telling a man that his hairstyle (perceived as feminine) is shameful because it is perceived as feminine is damaging to women, but it's also damaging to men because it is discriminatory and rude.

I've also heard people make snide remarks about the sexuality of a man, insinuating that just because he has some feminine qualities, he must be gay. Well, if he's gay, it's none of your damn business! But it's also rude to assume that every gay man carries and dresses himself in a decidedly feminine manner just because he prefers dudes.

"You were nice to a woman? Better turn in your 'man card'!"

Men are often times expected to be ignorant douchenozzles incapable of understanding or concerning themselves with the emotional needs of women (and are often portrayed as such in the media) so when it's even lightly suggested that a man is acting like a decent human being, treating the lady/ladies in his life as if they matter to him, all his caveman buddies chortle "better turn in your 'man card'!"

This is a toxic attitude to men because their peer groups are important to them and they don't want to be ridiculed, so they change their behavior around their friends - or even completely, entirely, regardless of the situation - and end up hurting others with their stoical displays. I don't even think I need to fully explain why it's also harmful to women.

anyway I'm a little too drunk to carry on but I'm sure I could think of more.

the patriarchy hurts everyone.

__________________