MURDER JUNKIE

Here is a Dragonforce story that you may or may not enjoy:

Ever since the question was asked of me of who would win in a fight between Dragonforce and Rhapsody, it has consumed me, it's all I think about and I am sure no one but I appreciate the gravity of the situation if this event were to unfold. I hate to speculate but this is how I think it is going to go down. It will begin on a day not un-like today when both of the greatest bands in history emerge through the forest of unicorns riding white steeds making their way to Elgard's green valleys to sit in divine reflection of nature's sacrifice.

Arriving from the East through the peasant villages is 6 men, 6 men like no men before them, standing tall with locks of long flowing hair. Townspeople rejoice and dance in the streets, maidens weeping and swooning over a mere glimpse of their gallantry. These men are Dragonforce and are banded together for one cause, to invoke supremacy over the fantasy metal genre.

The only thing standing in their way is the threat of Rhapsody, 5 men with perhaps slightly superior locks of flowing hair due to their tight perms and falsetto harmonies who unbeknownst to Dragonforce are currently making their way from the West through the villages of Elnor through the same scene of weeping maiden's and celebrating townspeople.

The forest somehow knows that something bigger that itself is about to take place and it is being echoed through the tree's and the forest's creatures seem long aware of the events which are about to unfold.

In the middle of the forest of unicorns there lies a clearing which will serve as the battlefield in this war to end all wars, it is lush in its greenery and somehow seems unaware that it will set the stage in this all important battle and soon will be crimson stained and smoldering.

The sun is directly overhead when this cast of characters meets and two dragons circle the clearing as if to bless the immanent battle.

Fabio Lione the songbird chanteuse of Rhapsody is the first to draw his blade from its sheath and the sun's reflection is blinding on the sword's Italian steel, he asks of Dragonforce “I have heard the townspeople speak of you men, how is it that you feel to be superior to the almighty Rhapsody?"

There is a momentary hushed silence until Herman Li guitar wizard of Dragonforce unsheathes a black seven string Ibanez which rivals the sun's reflection on Fabio's blade responds with a blistering two minute and thirty seven second solo with a mind bending display of chord progressions and exclaims "because we are Dragonforce therefore you are weak".

Taken aback by his guitar prowess and perfect pitch this is where this battle reached the point of no return, all swords from both sides were drawn and both bands formed a circle with blades pointed skyward emitted a five part harmony falsetto shriek to serve as their war cry.

This will truly be a battle for the ages and battalion's of Orc's have assembled behind Rhapsody to assist their quest for fantasy metal supremacy. Not to be outdone the disciple's of Babylon assemble themselves behind Dragonforce to ensure a fair battle to be fought with honor.

Only a few more words are spoken and they come from Dragonforce vocalist ZP Theart and they are less spoken than cried "Looking around there's no fear in your heart, For I know you will never surrender, Everyone here raise their eyes to the sky, Now with strength and honor we fight, PREPARE FOR WAR!”

Just that very second a group of orc's flank off to the left and surprise Dragonforce keyboard player Vadim Pruzhanov, subduing him with a series of blows from their carefully crafted clubs leaving him battered broken and bleeding on the dragon blessed battlefield.

A lone dragon sits perched on the levee of Mount Dar-Kunor and witnesses this catastrophic event and swoops onto the battlefield gathering orc's onto it's three foot talon’s like so many shrimp on a skewer as if to say that this deceitfulness will not be tolerated. He disappears as quickly as he emerged and once again the battle is on with a completely matched playing field.

The galleons of orc's and disciples of Babylon fight amongst themselves clearly heeding the dragon's warning in a circle leaving plenty of fighting space for the true warrior's of this battle.

Stepping forward as the first warrior to engage the enemy is Alex Holzwarth of Rhapsody. He points his emerald adorned sword at David Mackintosh of Dragonforce in an unspoken challenge to determine who is to truly be the crowned prince of percussion; David then reciprocates and bounds at Holzwarth with the ferocity of a wolverine.

He is completely caught off guard by MacIntosh's intensity and is thrust toward the ground at the hands of MacIntosh's tree trunk like arms from all the years of his precision drumming. With one half windmill of his blade he hoists it above Holzwarth's sternum and exclaims” Raise our swords we fight for life, Shields and armor shining bright, Strike like dragons we have no fear, Our swords are made of Dragonforce steel" and plunges it into Holzwarth's chest and gripping the jewel encrusted handle until his last breath of life escapes.

Infuriated by the dishonorable loss of his band mate the next person to step forward and engage in battle is Patrice Guers the bass player for Rhapsody, he immediately lunges at Dragonforce bass player Adrian Lambert who was standing at the ready anticipating this assault.

Bass players are known for their competitiveness and this battle is one that surely did not disappoint, the pair met cross bladed in the centre of the battle circle with piercing eyes of hatred and determination. Guers is the first to strike and pushes Lambert back about five paces, Lambert is so surprised by his strength and tenacity that he momentarily drops his guard and is met with a forward lunge from Guers's Italian steel which grazes his left bicep leaving a six inch incision which begins to bleed profusely. Lambert feels the blood trickling down his chest and stares into the eyes Guers with a hatred ten times the previous stare down and proclaims "Our only master with fire and fury of hell will see his bidding done".

He then assaults Guers with power of ten men and with every slice of his blade delivers a more decimating blow. The first to land is a blow to Guers's abdomen, followed up by a backswing to left leg, back around to the sternum, and then a piercing lunge to the torso which exits through Guers's spinal column. Then, as the final insult Lambert removes the blade from his foe's torso raises his sword once more and lops of his enemy's right hand at the elbow as if to say "you have played your last triplet".

For those of you keeping score Dragonforce is up 2-0 and shows no signs of slowing down.

So inspired was Dragonforce guitarist Sam Totman by his band mate’s heroism he wastes no time rushing Rhapsody keyboard player Alex Staropoli who is completely flabbergasted with an axe man approaching his frail frame. Staropoli manages to put up some resistance from the force of Totman's blade however soon finds himself on his knees with the sword wielding Totman hulking over him clearly showing his dominance. Totman is completely savage in his assault and meets him with a knee to the face, then backs up, takes stance and completely beheads the defenseless Staropoli.

There is a hushed stunned silence on the battlefield and even the orc's and Disciples Of Babylon cease battling for a brief moment to measure the savagery of both Totman and themselves as they survey the carnage around them, corpses of Orc's and Disciples lay everywhere and limbs seem to scatter the crimson battlefield like a morbid sort of twigs.

This true appreciation of the gravity of this battle only further escalates it; the dragons still circling the blood soaked clearing only seem to encourage this battle to continue.

Luca Turilli, lead Guitarist of Rhapsody steps forward to secure his place in this great battle for metal supremacy and Dragonforce guitarist Herman Li meets his unspoken challenge. Guitarists as a rule have a mutual respect for one another and these two are no exception, the two raven haired warriors meet in the middle of the battlefield and touch swords to offer respect.

After a respectable stare down Turilli is the first to strike antagonized by the loss of his fallen band mates, he clashes swords with Li with the intensity of a lion and Li reciprocates. This battle is quite evenly matched and the swordsmanship is unprecedented in its precision, however the first blow is finally landed by Turilli who lowers the butt end of the handle of his rhinestone encrusted blade into the top of Li's head.