Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Something I was reading in Trollheart's previous post also stuck out to me and I thought I should comment on it, if only to show my own perspective on the matter, which I don't say is representative of the rest of the mods (which is why there are a lot of things we might debate if we don't already know the general consensus from previous debates or approach)

He mentioned the lounge being more laid back and certain members having a go in there, versus the rest of the site. Now, while we don't advocate blatant personal insults ANYWHERE in the site, I do kind of classify them differently based on context.

If you're given a back and forth between two known members who are cool with each other and one of them drops an insult on the other in a lounge thread, the other might reciprocate, and due to the context, you know it's friendly banter and goofing off. I might assume it's that scenario for a lot of cases where a particular member is known for such things that never actually stir up the ant pile and people kind of go along with it.

However... it would be a bad assumption on my part to keep thinking that way for every case, but I can't realistically follow people around and see what they're saying and judging context. Nor do I think it would be feasible to take a hardline approach and kill any communication irrelevant of the bounds of friendly banter because we could neither spot all occurrences nor foster an environment where people feel free enough to have fun with their friends.

With that said, it really takes more than just the mods following people around. If someone is insulted and not finding it as friendly as the person on the other end might assume, they need to report these things and explain that they're uncomfortable and feel it's uncalled for. This will help us help them, as we can't be everywhere all of the time. There is far too much banter to sift through to try and judge issues unless we're there in the moment.

So, if you would like to see better attention to what you feel is objectionable and we haven't already addressed it, report the issue and let us work it out. I trust in the objectivity of those I help mod this place with and I know each of us are different enough to come to a good average of what should be done. But we can never come to those conclusions if all of this builds up silently and comes out in threads like these where suddenly we're seeing all sorts of issues and being looked at for not acting on them prior.