Originally Posted by John Wilkes Booth

i've fallen behind and let some tickets go unpaid... technically missed a court date. so i called the court and asked how to take care of this issue. cause it's happened once before in fl and they actually had a public servant who helped me renew the case to pay the fines without any jailtime etc. well apparently they don't do that here. she says the only way to resolve it is for me to hire a lawyer (too expensive) or turn myself in. so i figure i have to turn myself in... but i want to try to raise all that money first so i can just pay it off that day.

well, i get a call from where i used to live saying the deputy came by looking for me.. probably cause of that phone call. at the time i'm drunk and i'm like ****, i guess i need to go in tomorrow. so i call my mom and tell her my plans. she says "you can't go to court with your hair like that." i've been growing my hair for like a year. the last time i got it cut, my cousin up north did it for the lesbian wedding. he said he does his own hair and gave me the idea... and i'm a sucker for saving money. so this whole year i've been procrastinating saying "nah i wanna buy some clippers and cut it off, not get a haircut" and because of my finances lately.. buying a razor never seemed to take priority.

so she says she can cut my hair using scissors.. i'm skeptical but she says "i do it for your brother all the time..." so i figure alright maybe she knows what she's doing. only she cant find the haircutting scissors and she's, like me, too cheap/lazy to go buy some haircutting scissors. so she tries it with some regular scissors... and she ends up making me look like that kid that shot the black church up.

so i'm like nah gonna have to cut this **** off. so finally i get enough incentive to buy a razor, and i figure it would be easier for her to do it than me on myself, so i let her try. the way my cousin had cut it last time was basically with the longest extension, just going over my whole head. so she tries that but she's messing up or doesn't know how to do it. she says its too long to shave, and asks can she get the scissors and cut it down some, then shave it. but i figure nah it'd be easier to just take the extension off and use the clippers like scissors, holding my hair stretched out and cutting it short. so she tries this, and she messes up and gives me a bald spot. so now i can't shave it off cause i need some hair to cover up that mess. so i'm walking around with a clearly improvised/amature haircut.

the worst part is she thinks it looks good and keeps guilting me into keeping it.

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

I love how you edited your post to officially out me out of the closet?" It's like you asked yourself if you were a big enough cunt in the post, concluded that you weren't, and added it in to satisfy your postly cunt quota

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

I converted to Islam today.

Allah Supreme.
A Love Supreme.

Originally Posted by Mondo Bungle

saw LeBron James downtown but then I realized I'm just racist