She's in the wrong and seems to have rationalized her bad decision to the point of no return. I don't know anything about your brother apart from what you've shared on here, but it might be a good idea to have him tell her what he told you so she can see it firsthand (she might have thought you were making it up).
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.
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