The Batlord

In keeping with the theme of dragging out albums I hate from bands I love, I'm giving United Abominations yet another shot.

I dug this when it came out, but I was just a tad too far past my thrash obsession be all "OMG MEGADETH DO MOAR THRASH!!!", so the only thing really affecting my objectivity was the constant hope that Megadeth, ****ing Megadeth, would make a comeback worthy of the name. Previous album The System Has Failed was surprisingly good, but with a back end that was nothing special, making me cautiously optimistic that Dave's quality control was still intact, even if the band was clearly permanently past its prime.

As time trudged on unfortunately, and I wore out the first half of United Abominations (I was never sold on it enough to bother playing it back-to-front that often), my appreciation for it dropped steadily: the laughable political lyrics were always awful and annoying, even for someone who doesn't tend to pay attention to them; there were some quality tunes, but not a one that could compete with the best from almost any previous 'Deth album, which all had at least ONE song that just knocked it out of the park; but what really began to turn me off the most about the album was just how stale and lacking in energy it was, making it obvious that Dave really didn't give much of a **** about making anything approaching thrash, but, after failing to maintain any mainstream longevity, felt obligated to cater to a new fanbase of dumb kids who wished it was the eighties.

I don't care if Dave doesn't want to do thrash anymore, and I'm no longer emotionally invested enough in the band to feel offended that I'm basically being condescended to. I can't even fault the guy for his pragmatism, as I doubt he has much in his bank account these days, so more power to him if he can trick some idiots out of their money. It's the seeming lack of giving any kind of **** about even making music in the first place that destroys this album for me. United Abominations simply has no heart or soul.

But let's see if my opinion has changed...




1. Sleepwalker: Coming out of the gate with one of the few actual thrash tunes on the album, Megadeth make a decent stab at old glories, but this would be a second-rate song on any of their better albums. The riffs aren't really all that memorable, and Mustaine's vocal performance is merely adequate. This just feels like thrash-by-the-numbers that doesn't even have the power of the more aggressive material on Countdown to Extinction or Youthanasia.

Not a bad song, but far from inspirational.

2. Washington Is Next!: And here we have the first of many political diatribes from Mustaine that comes across more as an excuse for him to bitch than to write an actual song. I dig it more than the last one though, as it has a bit of the speed metal energy of Rust in Peace. Certainly not bad, but I'm sure I'll forget what it sounds like once it's over.

The lyrics are also just confusing. He seems to weld apocalyptic, religious ranting onto political views that switch from social liberalism to right wing conservatism. I just get the feeling that even Dave doesn't quite know what he's on about.

3. Never Walk Alone... A Call to Arms: I actually forgot this song existed. It seems somewhere between the pop metal of the nineties and the quasi-thrash of half of Countdown to Extinction. It wouldn't feel out of place on that album, but it would also be one of the weakest tracks. It's pretty par-for-the-course here, though.

Dave seems to have a knack for writing tunes that sound good while you're listening to them, but fall right out of your head soon after. I have yet to actually dislike anything on this album, but nothing has grabbed me either.

4. United Abominations: This was one of the only songs on this disc that raised the bar back in the day, but it's also the most lyrically irritating. The main riff is just sick, but the minute-long, spoken word intro railing against the UN is just tedious. The rest of the song suffers from being a backing track to Dave's ranting against the government, while at the same time he condemns everyone who doesn't support it. What the **** are you even talking about, you nut?

Without all of that self-indulgent nonsense this would be a pretty top-notch outtake from Countdown. As it is, it's impressing me considerably less than it did eight years ago.

Oh my ****ing god, stop with the spoken word ranting! It's boring, you ass!

5. Gears of War: Mid-paced chuggery that is, again, a lost track from Countdown. Boring vocals are somewhat saved by a moderately killer riff, but anytime that riff isn't present this is kinda ****. I can dig this, but I won't be putting it on any Megadeth playlists (assuming I made playlists).

6. Blessed Are the Dead: God damn it. Its been three songs since Dave went on a religious spiel, but now he shoves it down our throats like a televangelist without any of the charisma.

Pretty much all the things I said about the previous tracks being cut-rate Countdown to Extinction apply here, but the riffs have a bit more energy and the chorus is easily the best yet, so this is as much a step-up as we're going to get. Probably the closest this album has come to a memorable song.

7. Play for Blood: And now the relative quality of the album drops off even further. This song is interchangeable with pretty much anything that has come before, but at this point album fatigue is making all the samey tracks run together. This might actually be just as good as the previous songs, but my lack of interest leaves me unable to care.

8. A Tout Le Monde (Set Me Free): And here we have the pointless remake of "A Tout Le Monde" from Youthanasia. It's inferior to the original, making the inclusion of Christina Scabbia from Lacuna Coil the only reason to justify its existence. But she only appears briefly to backup Dave during the second verse and chorus and sing the short third verse, with a performance clearly aimed at not upstaging her temporary employer, so she doesn't even really add anything. The woman can certainly sing, but she's never allowed to shine in any way.

Next!

9. Amerikhastan: Not as hilariously **** a title as United Abominations, but this is still a truly cringe-worthy title, and it's schizophrenic anti-conservativism/anti-liberalism just make this song a lyrical cluster****.

It's also the most boring song on the album yet (at least the previous has some kind of historical value to make it memorable).

God damn it, Dave. This spoken word **** you insist upon is making a boring song downright intolerable. **** the things that exist in your heroin-damaged brain. They don't make any more sense out loud either.

10. You're Dead: It's almost like the title of this song was created for a "Most Generic Metal Song Title Ever" contest. It's complete lack of memorability is only matched by the stale music. Thankfully it's also the shortest song on the album.

11. Burnt Ice: Frozen water that has somehow been damaged by fire without melting. That's some poetry, Davey Dave. Almost thirty seconds in and I already can't remember what this song sounds like. This album just keeps progressively plummeting ever faster off of the "Who gives a ****?" cliff. What were critics smoking when they praised this wombat turd?

12. Out on the Tiles: God damn it, why did I download the Japanese version of this album? This would be over, but now I have to sit through a bonus track. Alright, **** this. This sucks just as much as the rest of the songs on the second half of United Abominations, and I see no reason to subject myself to more of this when it's not even on the actual album.


Yeah, my opinion hasn't changed much, except the songs I actually liked I now care about just as little as the rest. "Blessed Are the Dead" can live, but everything else can **** right off. Go back to pop metal, Dave, cause you can't write thrash for **** anymore. Risk is infinitely more entertaining than this... this.

__________________