I guess the economic downturn is biting everyone, even Batty! Well, if he will spend all his hard-earned on that complete boxed Batman Collectors' Edition .... Looks like the old Torture Chamber has had to undergo something of a downsizing. Just a soundproof booth now, as I enter and put the headphones on. Pity: I kind of miss the
drip-drip-drip of the stagnant water in the background, forming almost a counterpoint to the music I had to suffer through, the darkness, the dank air, the distant, vague sounds of screams, the
clump-clump as Batty heaved his belly down the stairs, limping down to gloat over me... Ah, good times, good times!
So this is it for 2015, is it? Can't say I'm too impressed, though I can see the financial viability of what he's done. Accountant said “You have a choice: cut out the comic books or get rid of all but the most necessary accoutrements for your Torture Chamber”. Guess he went for the latter: gotta have your priorities sorted, right? Still, it's a poor shadow of the original version of
(Due to downsizing, some differences may exist between the Torture Chamber you find yourself in and the one shown above --- The Batlord, 2015)
Well then, no magical spell for turning me into a woman at least. That's something to be thankful for I guess. He may find it a little harder to break me than last year though, as I've been exposing myself (ooer!) to rather a lot of black, experimental, doom and other types of perhaps what I would at least consider more extreme metal over the last year, and have yet to be affected by anything bar one, of which more later in the month. But right now it seems like the first album he's going to try to batter me with is up, and oh! If I look up I see a videoscreen flickering into life, with all the relevant informtation on the band, lyrics and background.
Asgardsrei --- Absurd --- 1999
So, a neo-Nazi band eh? Well he's obviously attacking my girlish sensibilities
vis a vis ethics here, as I made no bones of the fact that I had a problem with Mayhem and their practices, and indeed Varg too, but he may find my position has changed and my resolve hardened slightly (again, ooer!) so that it may not be as big a jolt as he expects it to be. Or it may cause me to s
hit myself, I don't know. Let's find out huh?
The album, more an EP I read, has at least only five tracks, though one is ten minutes long. Then again, there are two instrumentals. Hmm. Well, the music, such as it is, is beginning to filter through now, so what do I think? Right, well the first track is a march obviously, dark and menacing, and without the neo-Nazi background would sound to me like a sort of Viking, dramatic, climactic thing, but since we're talking about ol' Adolf's adherents here I assume it's the preface to a Nazi assault, as it were. Decent music though, nothing wrong with it. Mind you, we've not yet got to any lyrics. Well that's interesting: the lyrics are in German. No clue what they mean then, but I assume the words jew, communist and probably fa
g appear there more than once. Pretty good really; powerful chugging beat, vocals are rasped but I've heard so much worse.
This is the title track incidentally, and I have to be honest, I'm actually sort of digging it. Yes, it's unsettling to think of the sort of things they're probably singing about, but not knowing German saves me from that, and anyway even if the lyrics were in English I can guess what they'd be about. Now we get a declamatory announcement before another sort of traditional metal melody with a snarled vocal that tries to be scary but just fails to incite any fear in me anyway. This is called “Als die alten, Jung noch waren”, and your guess is as good as mine as to what that means. Pretty sweet beat really, rocks along in a slow kind of grind, very catchy. “Crux gammata” is okay too; the loud neo-Nazi shouting over the music is pretty dumb really, though again I guess if you knew what he was saying it might make more of an impact on you. “Tod von sonnenaufgang” starts with what may be supposed to represent someone getting murdered, but it just sounds silly, then it's a fast headbanger but not much else.
As for upsetting me?
I think I can translate this: “Leben ist krieg, krieg ist leben” looks like “Love is war, war is love”? Anyway it's an instrumental with a strong Germanic slant, quite nice actually. Are there keys in there? Must be. Ah yes, thanks to the hilariously-named Rob Darken!
The next one is an easy translation too: “Germanien uber alles” --- anyone? The chant is sidesplitting, but the guitar groove is pretty sweet. Song's a little long at over eleven minutes when not all that much happens, but I've heard worse.
Okay, so this remastered and expanded version has nine tracks instead of five, but I'm still not impressed. The longer ones are more boring than annoying, and “Fur Germanien” (again, anyone?) opens with another Nazi recording, rant or announcement but then descends into a fairly standard metal rocker. Interestingly, and perhaps not surprisingly, I'm reminded of “Waiting for the worms” off
The Wall in certain parts. Oh this guy tries so hard to be scary but I've listened to things that would curl your hair, and this does not even come close. Ah, it's over, and we're into the final track, which again is a long one, just over ten minutes, and begins with some spacey guitar and a deep breathing voice, stirring Germanic music, almost Wagnerian, building slowly. Actually, this is the first track that I've really liked. I mean, none of the rest has bothered me in the slightest, but it's not something I'd listen to again. This, I very well might.
TRACKLISTING
1. Intro: March zur neuen kunst
2. Asgardsrei
3. Als die alten Jung noch waren
4. Crux gammata
5. Tod vor sonnenaufgang
6. Leben ist krieg, krieg ist leben
7. Germanien uber alles
8. Fur Germanien
9. Sonnenritter
Sorry Batty; I know this is only attempt one, and you probably want to ease me into it, but man that was super weak! Hope you've got something a bit more challenging lined up for the next three slots!
