All right, let me just get comfy in my favourite chair and we'll get this under way.
Title: No Pads, No Helmets ... Just Balls
Artiste: A Simple Plan
Genre: Pop Punk
Evil Bastard: Exo
Okay, good one. Though pop punk? We all know I hate punk, but will this not be a bit light for old Trollheart? Let's see. I actually for some reason thought the opener would be a cover of the old hit from the musical of
Oliver! It isn't. Kind of poppy boyband-ish, but Exo, if you thought this was going to bother me, you surely forget I spent a long time in Boybandland for my journal. Or maybe you didn't read that. Probably not. Anyway, I've withstood the assault of such groups as New Edition, NKOTB, Westlife and Nsync, so this is nothing to me.
Nothing, do you hear me? AH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!
(It's actually quite a catchy opener. Unless this gets much MUCH worse, Exo you're going home with nothing my friend.) There's not even autotune on this. I could stand this for hours. I wouldn't want to, but I could. Like I say, it's fairly catchy. Ah, the lyrics are pretty crap: “Yesterday was the worst day ever/ And tomorrow won't be any better.” Hmm. Guitars are pretty good. Hard to prove I'm listening though, as so far the three tracks I've heard are pretty interchangeable. Teenage angst huh? Oh this one is slower, maybe it's a ballad? Jangly guitar. Nah, it kicked up into a copy of the last three. “I'm just a kid”? Indeed. It's actually quite funny how that “emotional” guitar keeps coming in, then they just kick it out of the way with the chorus.
Ah, **** it, I don't care: “Meet you there” is really catchy and I like it. Six tracks in folks! I love hoe in “Addicted” he sings “I'm a dick --- I'm addicted to you!”
Kind of like this too. It's fun. Reminds me of The Proclaimers. Without the thick Scottish accent of course. “When ye goahhhhh weel ye sen' back, a let-tur from Amery-ca!”
Mind ya, considering the amount of times they sing it, they should maybe have titled the song “Heartbreaker”. Thought I was listening to ABBA for a moment there as “My alien” began. Oh, the comments on YouTube (the only place I could find this) are hilarious! “I remember my lil sister bying* this album for me when I turned 13... Damn that was days ago. I'm 25 now with my first kid”. Oh god help me! Days ago?? This song is ****ing hilarious! “She's not your typical girlfriend, she's my alien!”
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Wouldn't be a good idea to piss her off, would it? “God must hate me” is a song you can't hate. So God made you crash your dad's car, did He? ****ing kids!
That's almost the guitar solo from “Sweet child o' mine” opening “I won't be there” --- well, not really but it's close. Sort of. “One day” sees them trying a sort of blues/reggae hybrid, though again not really. I have to say I'm quite enjoying this, even ironically. “Perfect” is a decent closer. Bit too long but not bad. You're out of luck Exo, I made it easily to the end.
You get ZERO, my man.
