So, one more chance to scare the bejaysus out of me, Batty, with three strikes on your card already (or whatever the stupid baseball term is). When I see an album that blends metalcore and hardcore punk (I usually don't do too well around music that has a “core” in it) I do worry though; this one could be your ace in the hole. Well, if so, then so be it: I've more than proved I can withstand everything you can throw at me up to now, so hopefully I'll get through this one too and we'll have a clean sweep for me.
So let's go: hit me Batty, one more time!
Jane Doe --- Converge --- 2001
Well it's thrashy, chaotic guitar that seems to have no tune I can discern and then the vocals, such as they are, come in and it's just a guy screaming his head off. Now, in fairness, I can hear the melody here after a few seconds. It's not too bad, though there's nothing at all I can say about the vocals. The only good thing about this is that the song is barely more than a minute, though I note with some trepidation that the closer runs for eleven! We're into the second track and there's no discernible difference here, not to me; just wild, uncontrolled guitar and someone screaming. Honestly, I've even heard black metal vocalists I'd prefer to this guy. Just what I want after a hard day's visiting at the hospital, just what I need to unwind. Not. Ah well, I asked for this.
It's all something of a blur, though there is a rather nice guitar bit there sans percussion in about the second minute of this second track, and yer man on vox shuts up, so that's nice. Of course, he can't stay quiet to the end of the track, which ends as confused and jumbled as it began. Nice guitar riff opening the third track, “Distance and meaning”, and for thirty blessed seconds I don't have to listen to the vocals, but even so, when they come in, sounds like the guy has taken his happy pills or something and he's much more restrained. Yeah, I had to say that, didn't I? He's back roaring and screeching now and normal service has it would seem been resumed. Think I can pick out a few words, which is something of a novelty. Speaking of novelties, there's some actually very melodic guitar introducing “Hell to pay”, but I'm not fooled, waiting for the hammer to fall. Wow. Even the vocalist pares it back here in a serious way. Kicking up a little now, but given how frenetic the rest of the album has been, this is positively relaxing by comparison!
We're back to the grind with “Homewrecker”, and there's not a lot I can say about it. Nothing really good I can pick out about it. Well, other than the fact that it brings us to the midpoint of the album, and let's be honest, three of the later tracks are like two minutes, one minute and less than a minute, though I have to endure the eleven-and-a-half minute opus at the end. Not looking forward to that. I'd honestly rather listen to Anaal Nathrahk or whatever they're called. At least there's some sort of a chanting backing vocal here, which takes my mind a little off himself on the main vocals. This is called “The broken vow”: well, if I vowed never to listen to this album again it would be a vow I would keep, I can assure you! Oh it's over and plunged right into the next track with very little if any discernible difference I can see. This is at least one of those short tracks, so not long to go now and it'll be over, and I'll be that much closer to the end of this aural assault.
Suggestions of some sort of melodic guitar riff trying to break through there at the beginning of “Heaven in her arms” (which this is not) but either the guitarist changed his mind or it was all just a little tease, as it's proceeded with the general hammer-out-your-teeth riff that's been more or less prevalent throughout this album so far. Slowing down there near the very end and into “Phoenix in flight”, which actually rather surprisingly is one of the best tracks I've heard on the album (not saying much I know) with some powerful melodic chords and a kind of dramatic almost orchestral feel to it. Picking up on a really nice guitar riff straight out of a power metal album. By contrast, “Phoenix in flames”, mercifully the shortest track at forty-seven seconds is just a chaotic mess: no guitars even, just pounding, rolling drums and himself screaming his head off. “Thaw” is supposed to be one of the more “melodic” pieces; don't see it myself, not yet anyway. Nah, just another noisy, chaotic mess to these ears. Hear a little melody in the guitar there actually, now you come to mention it, around the final minute. Meh. Thankfully that brings us to the last track. Not thankfully, it means I have to suffer eleven minutes and thirty-four seconds more of this before I'm finished.
Hmm. It's started with a surprisingly slow and doomy guitar that actually has quite a bit of melody in it, and now we're halfway through and it's not the worst thing I've ever heard. I had hoped it would go in quickly, and it kind of is. I must say, the ending of this is just gorgeous, which is not an adjective I ever thought I would be applying to this album. Nevertheless, I have to admit Batty scored with this one; turned me off metalcore forever, so well done man, you got me in the end.
I think we can all agree this has been one hell of a fight though, and even if I go down at the end (shut it!) I can hold my head high, having survived three out of four attempts by Batty to grind me down. Broken, bent, bowed but not defeated, I leave the Torture Chamber for another year. Will it be back next year? Who knows? Time will tell. Right now I'm off to listen to something inoffensive, like Chris Rea or ELO, or, yes you guessed it, Genesis! My soul needs to heal, and I have a discography to begin.
