To Frownland's final selection with go, with a mixture of trepidation and a certain expectation...
Carboniferous --- Zu --- 2009 (Ipecac)
Suggested by Frownland
First I see this is all instrumental, but features a lot of jazz elements (oh no!) and “distorted sax” (double oh no!) so I don't expect to have anything too positive to say about it, but we'll see. At least the tracks last a reasonable amount of time (no thirty-minute epics here thank god) and there are only ten tracks. We kick off on “Ostia”, which has a hammering drumbeat and a thick bass, then guitar cuts in and it's pretty tolerable so far. There's an interesting sound being made there in the last minute, but I have no idea what's making it. Sounds like an organ, but I don't see any mention of one on the listing. Anyway, we survived track one and it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. “Chtonian” is pretty repetitive until a heavy buzzy guitar comes through with an almost doom metal feel, though faster than you would expect in that subgenre. Slows down then about halfway before picking up again; kind of a hurried, urgent sound about it, though as I say quite repetitive. A melody playing now that really sounds like it's a synth, but its sedate tone is disrupted by fast drums, a growling guitar and a sax going wild. Nice bassline in the last minute and it kind of marches off then, tap-dancing part of the way...
Snarly guitar pulls in “Carbon”, with kind of staccato drumming. Drops to another really nice bass line taking the tune solo for a few moments, then mostly drives on a wailing sort of guitar with another hammering along, then “Beata Viscera” has a kind of Caribbean feel to it, uptempo drums, salsa rhythm (sort of) and a blaring sax that sounds more like a trumpet to me. Certainly an early progressive rock slant on the music here, while “Erineys” has a much harder, punchier edge and seems to be almost completely driven by the sax work. “Soulympics” is quirkier, with a very Waitslike (alright alright! Beefheart-like) vocal, the first vocal on the album so far, or at least the first I've heard. Hmm, apparently it's Mike Patton. Who knew? Or, in my case, cared. Well to be fair I do quite like this, but surely there are synths involved? How do they make those, well, synthlike noises otherwise?
I feel “Axion” tries to be too clever and sort of fails to produce the effect required, as far as I'm concerned anyway: just feels a little like technical wankery to these ears. The sort of echoing sax solo is good though I have to admit. “Minosa hostilis” is just annoying, “Obsidian” is much more laidback --- well, initially, then it kicks up on squealing guitar and drums and kind of swaggers along. We end then on “Orc”, with a slow fade-in buildup which becomes a sort of droning, rising chant. Meh.
TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS
1. Ostia
2. Chtonian
3. Carbon
4. Beata viscera
5. Erineys
6. Soulympics
7. Axion
8. Mimosa hostilis
9. Obsidian
10. Orc
Recipe for a ShitStorm Pie: Begin with a generous helping of Trollheart's lack of understanding of this type of music. Add two cupfuls of his lack of tolerance for same, mix in Frownland's annoyance and indignation, blend with a liberal dose of high-minded lecture, put into oven and leave for several hours, until the crust turns purple with rage. Slice up and serve to amused Music Banter audience, ensure food is piping hot before serving. Warning: overindulgence can cause indigestion. And be careful with the pie too. 
Yeah, it's not a bad album; I certainly don't hate it and in other circumstances I might actually enjoy it, but what the hell does this have to do with Metal Month? I mean, I can't see how any of this could really be termed as any sort of heavy metal. I feel Frownland just threw this at me as a way to smuggle in yet another avant-garde album he wanted me to listen to. Perhaps I'm wrong and this is considered metal, but as someone once said, it's not what
I call rock and roll!