Nearing the end of our voyage through Pirate Metal now, and there are only four bands left for us to cover. One from England, one from Australia and two from Brazil. As we've just been on the shores of bonny Scotland, let's just tip over the border and head south, to check out these guys, who only got together in 2011, and have just the one album, released this year.
They proudly proclaim on their website to be “The undisputed champions of neoclassical pirate metal!” Oh god! Is there a sub-sub-subgenre going on here?
Neoclassical Pirate Metal? They hail from the coastal town of .... Nottingham? Um, yeah. The Midlands. Where there is no coast. At all. That's why it's called the Midlands. The two biggest things associated with Nottingham, for those not born there, are of course Robin Hood and Sherwood Forest, and their local football team, Nottingham, er, Forest. They're not exactly known for their piratical exploits, nor even for any sort of seafaring. Well, it would be hard, wouldn't it, unless you wanted to drag your galleon across land all the way to the River Trent, and even then it's a long way to the coast. See below.
So not what you'd call a natural wellspring for a Pirate Metal band, but then, this seems to be no ordinary Pirate Metal band, with, as we have already seen, neoclassical leanings, and also with, as we will see, the only female member in any of the Pirate Metal bands we have so far explored. Red Rum is a five-piece, consisting of:
Dave Everitt (Vocals)
Sam Wood (Guitar/Bouzouki)
Bekkie Brumby (Guitar)
Sam Bradford (Keyboards/Synthesisers)
Steven Ryall (Bass)
Hugh Milburn (Drums)
Although only together for four years now and with their first album out this year, they seem to have struck a chord already, having played last year's Piratefest (there's a Piratefest???) alongside Alestorm (of course) and even took in Ireland on their tour
(NOOOOO!!!!!!! I MISSED IT!!!!) 
Ahem. Anyway, let's look into their debut album.
Booze and Glory --- Red Rum --- 2015 (Independent)
Yeah, well it's only been out less than a month and it proves impossible to track down, dammit. Nobody even uploaded it to YouTube, for Chrissakes! Come on, people! Wake up here! Shiver me timbers! Guess we'll have to go with the EP that came out prior to that, then. Avast!
With Gods By Our Side --- Red Rum --- 2014 (Independent)
There are only five tracks on this, unfortunately, and it starts off with the title track, a power metal beast with what sounds like violin going there too, though as none is credited it's probably synth created. Vocalist Dave Everitt does in fact sound something like Christopher Bowes, but different enough not to come over as a copy of the Alestorm singer. Utilising the Iron Maiden “Whoa-oh-oh-oh!” might not be the greatest tactic --- I would have preferred “Yo ho ho” or “Ha-har!” or something more piratey, but this is only the first track so we'll reserve judgement till we've heard more. Nice bouzouki intro to “Dragged out with the tide”, then it gets more intense as it marches along, seems like they've brought in a growly, death metal style vocal to complement Dave's, though no idea whose it is, unless he's doing both himself.
Hear the neoclassical influence now in the keys, and there's a nice idea in the lyric of a pirate's struggles to maintain his lifestyle. Great guitar work from Bekkie Brumby, whom I assume is the one who takes care of the guitar duties, as Sam Wood also plays the bouzouki but she is shown only as a guitarist. “Rise from the deep”, I have to say, sounds like a continuation of the previous song, and again uses that double vocal, which is a little offputting. “Legends” uses some nice neoclassical guitar and gallops along well, lot of grunting and cheering, seems to utilise just the one vocal this time. Well, mostly anyway. Nice violin sound from the synth but it's over very quickly and already we're into the distinctly non-pirate closer, “Ragnarok”. I suppose there is some slight correlation between Vikings and pirates, both being marauders, but I pointed out the differences between them before, and I'm not quite sure why pirate bands keep returning to them for inspiration.
This is a pure Viking song, referencing of course the Twilight of the Gods, the final battle which would see the end of all things and allow men to take control of their own destiny as the Gods of Asgard went forth against the Frost Giants, the Fire Giants, and the New York Giants (sorry) --- and the other darker elements of the Norse mythos. It's played well, but on a record having only five tracks why have one that has absolutely nothing to do with pirates, is my question?
TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS
1. Red Rum
2. Dragged out with the tide
3. Rise from the deep
4. Legends
5. Ragnarok
Well, despite their lofty claims, I don't see anything so great about Red Rum. To me, they're just basically copying Alestorm but with a lot less finesse, imagination and seemingly absolutely none of the razor-sharp humour the Scottish band uses. Now admittedly, two things: one, I have no lyric sheet so had to try to make out what was being said, which was not always easy, but I didn't hear anything that wasn't what I would call at this point, cliche pirate lyrics. Two, as I mentioned I can't get their album anywhere, so maybe they improved in leaps and bounds on that, although this EP was only released the previous year, so I wonder.
Either way, on this EP at least, and accepting that it is only a short and probably non-representative example of the band, Red Rum have a long way to go to impress me as other bands here have. It also doesn't help that they've managed to go under a name which is also that of one of the most famous racehorses in history!
So, do Australia fare any better? Well, you would certainly hope so. They at least have very much a nautical tradition (as do the English of course, just not the Nottingamites) and also a history of being a laidback, fun-loving people who are hardy and tough when required, and laugh at danger. Well, not all of them: I'm sure the wealthy families living in the suburbs of Melbourne or Perth haven't a drop of pirate blood in them, but that could be said of the upper/middle class of any country. I just feel that in general, Australia and pirates seem like they might be a better match. Let's find out.
In existence for slightly longer than their English counterparts, Lagerstein came together in 2010, and had their first, and so far only, album released in 2012. Described by themselves as “a folking (hah!), drinking, shouting and pirating rock/metal outfit hailing from the shores of distant Brisbane”, they are:
Ultralord (Vocals)
The Majestic Beast (Guitars)
Neil Rummy Rackers (Guitars)
Mother Junkst (Keyboards, and maybe violin as he --- yeah it's a he --- is shown playing one. Or at least, posing with one)
The Immobilizer (Bass)
Oldmate Dazzle (Drums)
Drink 'Til We Die --- Lagerstein --- 2012 (Independent)
I'm glad to say I do have lyrics for this, so let's get going and see where the seven seas take us. With the shout “We are Lagerstein!” the album opens on a deceptively gentle keys melody before “The rum thieves” bursts into life and we learn that one of the worst possible crimes among pirates is the theft of their liquor! As Ultralord recounts the sad tale of how their stores were purloined by thieves and the boys set off in angry pursuit, the chorus echoes through your brain like an earworm:
”Those bastards stole our rum! They'll pay for what they've done!” Great power metal rippling guitar and a rousing chorus makes this song a great start to the album, and I can only hope it stays this good after the somewhat lacklustre Red Rum.
Okay, now they're copying The Dread Crew of Oddwood and taking to the air. “Dreaded skies” would be so much better if I hadn't already heard “Aership of doom”, but it's basically the same idea, though I have to tip my hat to their chorus
”Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we’re all so fucking high/ Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we’re pirates of the skies!/ Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we drink until we die/ Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we’re pirates of the skies!” Also
”Is it a bird? Is it a plane?/ No! It's a fucking pirate ship!” Some great bouzouki work here from ... someone, maybe one of the guitarists, and some powerful dramatic keys from Mother Junkst. Really like this one, just a pity it's not as original as it seems. What is original though is “Harpoon the sun” where they decide they're tired of sunlight and declare
”We're gonna fuck the sun!/ WE'll blow that fucker out of space!”
Perhaps a misake to have two, shall we say, high fantasy ideas following one another, but it is funny, and the shouted orders that precede the opening of the song are great. I must say, Ultralord is one of the cleanest vocalists I've heard yet, although as a pirate perhaps not; he's more in the boyband/power-pop mould, but at least you can easily hear what he's singing. Takes a little away from the raw, snarly power of Pirate Metal though. Next we're all invited aboard the “Nightmare ship”. What's the nightmare? Well let the boys explain it:
”The wench is a man/ Turns out we're all queer/ The cabin is empty/ We're all out of beer!” Oh no! Pirates can't operate without booze! There's a suitably lamenting keyboard intro and vocal chorus to take us in, and I must say it's damn effective; you feel like crying for the passing of alcohol!
Band members begin to be blamed ---
”Obviously this is Mother Junkst's fault!” and are made to walk the plank --- again, this kind of echoes one of the Alestorm songs, “Keelhauled”, but we'll let it pass as the song is so damn good. Things get rocking again with the hilarious “Pirate music piracy”, a jaunty accordion motif pulling it along as the guys sing
”We're singing songs about the sea/ We don't 'ave time to sing in key/ It's pirate music piracy!” fu
cking brilliant!
”We're looting ships of their pirate music melodies/ Don't need fucking MP3s/ Cos this is music piracy!” Now that's comedy! This is what Red Rum are missing out, Swashbuckle too. “Plunderberg” plays like a pop ballad for a few seconds then it's quite amazing the stuff they jam together to make rhymes for “plunderberg” --- thunderburg, underburg, rumdaberg?
It's another power metal romper, but I do admit that voice which I have to refer to as the “boyband” voice is just too pure and almost innocent for these kind of lyrics and for the pirate life. Oh well, the other vocals make up for it I guess. “Slocken the rum” is (anyone?) another drinking song and hurtles along nicely on another accordion melody that then turns into a squeezebox one, sort of
pizzicato --- you'll have to hear it to know what I mean --- utilising a classic power metal melody. Oh, the parody! They even throw in
”Hey ho! Let's go!” Then it's off on a quest for the drink of all drinks in “Jungle Juice journey”, in which they have to destroy the deadly and fearsome ... toucan? Well, they blow it away with their cannon anyway and make it to the jungle with a surprisingly melodic guitar solo, and you have to love the simple chorus
”Drunk on jungle juice!” while the beer continues to flow in the “Beer bong song” with another soft intro that develops into something of a power ballad and then just takes off. I love the line
”A beer bong for me, a beer bong for you/ These are the tools of the Lagerstein crew!” and they use this, the longest song at six minutes long, to introduce the band and then have a real pirate drinking chorus as they shout the title of the album over and over. Class.
Then we end on the title track as the pirate captain is dismayed to hear the barmaid claim
”You pirates are all the same/ You loot all the day and you drink all the night!” and he assures her
"We'll drink until we fucking die!” Acosutic guitar and flute carry this, with the sounds of rowing across from the ship to the land, the vocal a real sea shanty and a great change, a perfect closer to the album.
TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS
The rum thieves
Dreaded skies
Harpoon the sun
Nightmare ship
Pirate music piracy
Plunderburg
Slocken the rum
Jungle juice journey
Beer bong song
Drink 'til we die
Yeah, these guys have it. They know what it's all about. Again, I can't totally dismiss Red Rum as I had no lyrics and didn't get to listen to their album, but what I heard was nowhere close to this. Lagerstein get the true meaning of being a pirate: drink, drink and more drink. And drink. Oh, and how could I forget drink? The lyrics are clever and funny, they don't take themselves any way seriously and they have great
craic while doing what they enjoy. If I had one complaint, it's the main vocalist (Ultralord?) whose voice is so fresh-faced and young that it's a little to take him seriously (huh?) when he's singing about rum and whisky in a voice that sounds like the hardest liquor that's ever passed his lips was Red Bull or Cinzano!
That aside though, definitely one of the better Pirate Metal bands, and I look forward to their next release, assuming they're not all caught and strung up from the nearest yardarm.
Which leaves us with two bands, both of which come from sunny Brazil, surely a favourite hunting ground for pirates of old, but unfortunately one of them sing in their native Portuguese, and as I can't speak more than a few words of that (and that not well) I find it hard to review them. Not that foreign languages preclude my interest in a band, as you all know, but with Pirate Metal it's different. About ninety percent at least of the effectiveness of a Pirate Metal band is based around their lyrics, and if you can't understand them, then they could play brilliantly and evoke a real pirate atmosphere, and they could in fact have the wittiest lyrics of any of these bands, but if I can't decipher them it's pointless.
And so sadly I can't review
Confraria da Costa, who do have one album, and it is available, but I must gloss over them with my apologies and turn to the only other band that comes up in the list I've been using, and who also come from Brazil, but thankfully sing in English. Tracking their album down though may prove a more difficult proposition.