Well heres the problem I think you have here (because I always have it). You know what you mean, and you're trying to be subtle. The last thing you want is exposition. Except things will seem to you like you came out and said it, when the rest of us may thing its actually just enough.
If I wrote a song about my 3 year old brother dying in a car accident because a drunk driver hit he and my mother and I wrote the lines:
"A corpse amoungst spinkled glass on blood and asphault at then hands negligence and suds"
Aside from being ****ty (becuase I wrote it just now), its also confusing as hell to the average reader cause they don't know what the **** im talking about it.
In short, be less indirect, but don't go and say "someone died in their sleep"
And no don't give up.
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