Music Banter - View Single Post

grindy · 11-18-2015, 04:23 PM

Manowar - Gods Of War

Overture to the Hymn of the Immortal Warriors

Lame orchestral intro, with lame choir and a super-lame melody.
It could be the music for some nineties adventure game or something like that.

The Ascension

Starts out 'orchestral' again. Do they seriously have two intros?
I can see how this might be regarded as one of the ****tier albums of this already ****ty as hell band.
Now he's speaking something with a ridiculous 'badass' voice.
I'm not even gonna try to understand the concept and lyrics, the music will be torture enough.
Interestingly this also sounds like some cut-scene from a video game.
And the singing starts. Still no metal, more like a cheesy musical.

King of Kings

And the metal starts. It's so generic, that it doesn't even really suck.
Damn those lyrics, they are so childishly simple and up-front, that it's impossible not to listen to and understand them.
And we're back to spoken word. And the musical part from the previous track is back.
Is the whole album just a few parts randomly shuffled together?
Generic heavy metal solo #12 brings a little relief from the sucky singing.

Army of the Dead, Part I

Some cheesy choir chanting here. It seems to be just a short interlude. Yep, it is. Lazy ****ers. Lol at the ridiculous high note sung at the end.

Sleipnir

Again sound from a video game cut-scene (Spooky voice speaking, horses neighing, coconuts being struck against each other.
Oh right, it's probably about Odin's horse.)
And again generic mid-tempo metal, with generic wannabe epic keyboards in the background at times.
For some reason I really don't mind it though. I have to listen to ****ty heavy metal at my dad's all the time,
so I might be at least partially immune to it.

Loki God of Fire

Just saw that this album is the lowest rated of theirs on RYM.
But I probably wouldn't really notice the difference between this and their 'good' albums.
Although they might be at least shorter. This is soooo long.
And BTW, this is another genric mid-tempo song. Really nothing to really hold on to. Elevator music.
Wait... is Loki really the god of fire? Looked it up, he doesn't seem to be. Mythology fail.

Blood Brothers

A ballad. Cute.
The cover was blocked on RYM, so I got curious.
It's pretty hilarious.
Tits though, so I won't post it here.
Meanwhile they really cheese it up on this one.
The high note sung in the background towards the end cracks me up.
No way they take themselves seriously.

Overture to Odin

Oh ****. It's called overture, but it's almost four minutes.
Will this all be pseudo-orchestral noodling?
It really is. Booooring.

The Blood of Odin

I'm starting to think this album might be, at least partly, about Odin.
The whole track is cheap dramatic spoken word over some more video game epic music.

The Sons of Odin

After all this synth **** another generic metal songs seems almost like a relief.
It's still terribly generic and boring.
Still, it goes on for five minutes, after which the speaking starts again.
They sure padded the length on this one.
I love how every song's ending is supposed to be super epic, but ends up being extremely hilarious.

Glory Majesty Unity

Yeah, I get it, it was a dark and stormy night. Also wolves.
Again with the spoken word. This is soooooo lazy.
I start to understand why even fans hate it.

Gods of War

Will at least the title track be a real song?
It's over seven minutes long, so it'll be mind-numbingly boring either way.
Some chanting at the beginning, then again the orchestral stuff. Pad, pad, pad.
One of the most drawn out endings I've ever heard.
They do this getting faster and more chaotic towards the end before the riff returns bit for a whole minute.

Army of the Dead, Part II

Another interlude. This time it's organ and choir, then some a capella singing.
Thankfully it's short.

Odin

Yes, they love them some Odin.
Another lame, drawn out song.

Hymn of the Immortal Warriors

Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Some super-cringeworthy choir singing towards the end.
I thought being high while listening to it might be a mistake, but it makes me appreciate more how funny it is.

Die for Metal

The opening riff sounds like I've heard it somewhere before.
Probably generic metal riff #8.
It's a bonus track and the absence of the albums conceptual **** makes it much more bearable.
I imagine this song is fun live and good to sing along to.
Not that it doesn't suck, but it might actually be the best song on the album.
It's still two minutes too long though.
-------------------------------------------------

This album sucks undeniably and deserves all the hate it seems to get.
On the other hand it wasn't that difficult listening to it.
Still, despite being amusing in its cheesy way, its length and lack of any kind of creativity make it somewhat a chore to sit through.
Torture rating: 23%

11-18-2015, 04:23 PM	#345 (permalink)
grindy . Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: . Posts: 7,201	Manowar - Gods Of War Overture to the Hymn of the Immortal Warriors Lame orchestral intro, with lame choir and a super-lame melody. It could be the music for some nineties adventure game or something like that. The Ascension Starts out 'orchestral' again. Do they seriously have two intros? I can see how this might be regarded as one of the **tier albums of this already ty as hell band. Now he's speaking something with a ridiculous 'badass' voice. I'm not even gonna try to understand the concept and lyrics, the music will be torture enough. Interestingly this also sounds like some cut-scene from a video game. And the singing starts. Still no metal, more like a cheesy musical. King of Kings And the metal starts. It's so generic, that it doesn't even really suck. Damn those lyrics, they are so childishly simple and up-front, that it's impossible not to listen to and understand them. And we're back to spoken word. And the musical part from the previous track is back. Is the whole album just a few parts randomly shuffled together? Generic heavy metal solo #12 brings a little relief from the sucky singing. Army of the Dead, Part I Some cheesy choir chanting here. It seems to be just a short interlude. Yep, it is. Lazy ers. Lol at the ridiculous high note sung at the end. Sleipnir Again sound from a video game cut-scene (Spooky voice speaking, horses neighing, coconuts being struck against each other. Oh right, it's probably about Odin's horse.) And again generic mid-tempo metal, with generic wannabe epic keyboards in the background at times. For some reason I really don't mind it though. I have to listen to ty heavy metal at my dad's all the time, so I might be at least partially immune to it. Loki God of Fire Just saw that this album is the lowest rated of theirs on RYM. But I probably wouldn't really notice the difference between this and their 'good' albums. Although they might be at least shorter. This is soooo long. And BTW, this is another genric mid-tempo song. Really nothing to really hold on to. Elevator music. Wait... is Loki really the god of fire? Looked it up, he doesn't seem to be. Mythology fail. Blood Brothers A ballad. Cute. The cover was blocked on RYM, so I got curious. It's pretty hilarious. Tits though, so I won't post it here. Meanwhile they really cheese it up on this one. The high note sung in the background towards the end cracks me up. No way they take themselves seriously. Overture to Odin Oh . It's called overture, but it's almost four minutes. Will this all be pseudo-orchestral noodling? It really is. Booooring. The Blood of Odin I'm starting to think this album might be, at least partly, about Odin. The whole track is cheap dramatic spoken word over some more video game epic music. The Sons of Odin After all this synth another generic metal songs seems almost like a relief. It's still terribly generic and boring. Still, it goes on for five minutes, after which the speaking starts again. They sure padded the length on this one. I love how every song's ending is supposed to be super epic, but ends up being extremely hilarious. Glory Majesty Unity Yeah, I get it, it was a dark and stormy night. Also wolves. Again with the spoken word. This is soooooo lazy. I start to understand why even fans hate it. Gods of War Will at least the title track be a real song? It's over seven minutes long, so it'll be mind-numbingly boring either way. Some chanting at the beginning, then again the orchestral stuff. Pad, pad, pad. One of the most drawn out endings I've ever heard. They do this getting faster and more chaotic towards the end before the riff returns bit for a whole minute. Army of the Dead, Part II Another interlude. This time it's organ and choir, then some a capella singing. Thankfully it's short. Odin Yes, they love them some Odin. Another lame, drawn out song. Hymn of the Immortal Warriors Another lame, drawn out song. Another lame, drawn out song. Another lame, drawn out song. Another lame, drawn out song. Another lame, drawn out song. Some super-cringeworthy choir singing towards the end. I thought being high while listening to it might be a mistake, but it makes me appreciate more how funny it is. Die for Metal The opening riff sounds like I've heard it somewhere before. Probably generic metal riff #8. It's a bonus track and the absence of the albums conceptual makes it much more bearable. I imagine this song is fun live and good to sing along to. Not that it doesn't suck, but it might actually be the best song on the album. It's still two minutes too long though. ------------------------------------------------- This album sucks undeniably and deserves all the hate it seems to get. On the other hand it wasn't that difficult listening to it. Still, despite being amusing in its cheesy way, its length and lack of any kind of creativity make it somewhat a chore to sit through. Torture rating: 23% __________________ A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.** Last edited by grindy; 11-18-2015 at 04:29 PM.