i remember a couple of years ago i was talking to this turkish dude on a muslim forum. he was giving me advice on what it is like to be a gay muslim. he was telling me about how the last time he had sex with a guy was 8 years ago. he talked to me about his time serving in the military and a guy he had known there and he was the first dude he had sex with and the guy was apparently engaged to some girl and so.. that didn't end well. anyway, this dude sounded really sad. i actually felt bad for him. he was telling me about how he lives. he lives alone and works all day and then comes home and goes online or reads or does anything to keep from feeling lonely. he truly believed that god had cursed him. but that he was also special. god is testing him, he would tell me all the time. if he passes this test, he will be rewarded paradise. he also spoke about how stupid and foolish the kuffar were. and that they don't realize why we were put on this earth to begin with. anyway he also told me about the book he had read which had lead him to believe everything he does and it was said nursi's risale-i-nur. i bought a copy of the book and have yet to read it but i will probably end up reading it after ramadan's over. i kind of miss him tbh. i remember chatting with him for hours everyday. he was interesting to say the least. i wonder how hes doing now and if he's still holding up with his abstinence thing.
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