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All hail our saviour, satan.

Edit: In order to make this a more serious conversation to the actual subject I'm going to add the definition of Theistic Satanism, and LaVeyan/Modern/Realistic Satanism from Wikipedia.

LaVeyan/Modern/Realistic Satanism is a new religious movement founded in 1966 by the American occultist and author Anton Szandor LaVey. The religion's doctrines and practices are codified in LaVey's book, The Satanic Bible. Its core philosophy is based on individualism and egoism, encouraging an epicurean pursuit of fleshly indulgence, an eye for an eye code of ethics, and the concept of "self-deification". The philosophy positions itself in favor of Social Darwinism and opposes egalitarianism, seeing it as a conservator of mediocrity and decadence, and to a larger extent, the Abrahamic faiths, which are seen as lies which promote idealism, self-denigration, herd behavior, and irrationality. The philosophy seeks more draconian measures taken in the realm of law and order, and may also support some forms of eugenics. The religion propagates a naturalistic worldview, seeing mankind as animals existing in an amoral universe.
LaVey established LaVeyan Satanism in the U.S. state of California through the founding of his Church of Satan on Walpurgisnacht of 1966, which he proclaimed to be "the Year One", Anno Satanas—the first year of the "Age of Satan". His ideas were heavily influenced by the ideas and writings of Nietzsche, Rand, and Jung. The Church grew under LaVey's leadership, with regional grottos being founded across the United States. A number of these ceded from the Church to form independent Satanic organizations during the early 1970s. In 1975, LaVey abolished the grotto system, after which Satanism became a far less organized movement, although remained greatly influenced by LaVey's writings. In coming years, members of the Church left it to establish their own organisations, also following LaVeyan Satanism, among them the First Church of Satan and Karla LaVey's First Satanic Church.
The religion is atheistic and materialist, rejecting the existence of supernatural beings, body-soul dualism, and life after death. Practitioners do not believe that the character of Satan literally exists and do not worship him. Instead, Satan is viewed as a positive archetype who represents pride, carnality, and enlightenment, and of a cosmos which Satanists perceive to be motivated by a "dark evolutionary force of entropy that permeates all of nature and provides the drive for survival and propagation inherent in all living things". He also serves as a projection of an individual's highest personal potential. Moreover, Satan is embraced as a symbol of defiance against the Abrahamic faiths which LaVey criticized for what he saw as the suppression of humanity's natural instincts.
LaVeyan Satanism involves the practice of magic, which encompasses two distinct forms; greater and lesser magic. Greater magic is a form of ritual practice and is meant as psychodramatic catharsis to focus one's emotional energy for a specific purpose. These rites are based on three major psycho-emotive themes, including compassion (love), destruction (hate), and sex (lust). Lesser magic is the practice of manipulation by means of applied psychology and glamour (or "wile and guile") to bend an individual or situation to one's will. LaVey defined magic as "the change in situations or events in accordance with one's will, which would, using normally accepted methods, be unchangeable." LaVey espoused the view that there was an objective reality to magic, and that it relied upon natural forces that were yet to be discovered by science.

Theistic Satanism is an umbrella term for religious beliefs that consider Satan as an objectively existing supernatural being or force worthy of supplication, whom individuals may contact and convene with. The individual belief systems under this umbrella are practiced by loosely affiliated or independent groups and cabals. Another characteristic of Theistic Satanism is the use of ceremonial magic.
Unlike LaVeyan Satanism, as founded by Anton LaVey in the 1960s, or more generally, unlike atheistic Satanism, theistic Satanism is theistic, believing that Satan (Hebrew: הַשָׂטָן ha-Satan, ‘the accuser’) is a real entity rather than an archetype or idea.
The history of theistic Satanism, as an existing spiritual path practiced by people, is obscured by a number of groups having been accused of Satanism who did not actually worship Satan, such as in the witch trials in Early Modern Europe, and such beliefs having been heavily persecuted, being grounds for execution during most of European history. Most actual theistic Satanist religions exist in relatively new models and ideologies, many of which even claim to be independent of the Abrahamic religions.