grindy was supposed to be up next, but I can't seem to find the album even though I'm 100% sure I downloaded it, so until I track it down it will be on hold.
Wizard of the Hood by Violet J
Recommended by: The Batlord
So I'm doing this while in plug with Violet and Batlord because I'm not entirely sure I could handle this album by myself. Batty keeps talking up and telling me to go into this thing without worrying about whether it's objectively good or not, whatever that means.
Intro: So it's worth mentioning that this album is a concept project based on the Wizard of Oz. I don't think I could respect ICP if I wanted to, but that almost makes me wish I could.
Sweet Child o' Mine sample? No thanks. It's just a bunch of radio snippets in the background why Violent J speaks to us.
Let It Rain: "Sitting down in my crack house" is the first line in this song. No thanks. His flow isn't the worst thing ever, but the lyrics are embarrassingly poor and his voice is so funny to me. "Gay *** slayer" is possibly even worse than the opening bar.
Yellow Brick Alleyway: You know, I kind of like the beat. It reminds me of N64 for some reason. If I totally ignore the rapping, it's not bad. Oh for **** sakes, now it's speeding up and there's some high pitch voice coming in? Nope, I jinxed it. This is ****. I guess the high pitched voice is supposed to be the Wicked Witch? I just want her to die. If I hear "take your ass down the yellow brick road mother****er" one more time I'm going to cry.
Homies 2 Smoke With: Batlord has already played this song in plug. It's better than the last one, for sure, but it isn't good. It's such an obvious attempt to make a stoner anthem that it would make Wiz Khalifa cringe. The usage of the word "fu
ck" is pretty funny, but it doesn't cover up the corniness of the song. The hook is among the worst hooks I've ever heard on a rap song.
Thug Whilin': Oh god. This is a hardcore horrorcore beat right here, and it's horrible. It's just this repetitive boring guitar riff being sampled. Wow, did I say the last hook was bad? This one is immensely worse. I'm not even sure if Danny Brown could save this beat, it's hideous. So wait, the tin man tried to mug Violent J but he failed because he didn't have a real gun so now they're teaming up to find the wizard? That might be funny if I didn't hate it so much.
Horribly Horrifying: Now it's time for the lion. How do I know? Oh, you know, just the growling lion in the background. At first I thought the fact that the production reminded me of N64 was cool, but now it's starting to sound like they just ripped beats from 90s video games. I can't remember what game this song reminds me of... I wanna say Mario Party 2? I think it goes without saying this song is bad, so there's that. "I took a **** in the woods and wiped my ass with a purple shroom." That line is real. OH MY GOD, WHO SUGGESTED MAKING THIS SONG 5 ****ING MINUTES LONG? THE WOODS LOOK SCARY, I GET IT J, I GET IT.
What You Thinkin' About: This guy is clearly homophobic, he's just as bad of a person as he is an artist. This beat is really low key and slowed down, which means I have to focus on the lyrics more. I bet they don't even play this **** in hell, because there's no way Satan would be down for this ****.
It's important that you all know how much Violet and Batlord are enjoying this album right now. In fact, Violet has went as far to grab this. I... wow, even for two guys with ****ty taste (mostly Violet, Batty does like a fair bit of good stuff too) they are stooping pretty low.
Shiny Diamonds: OMG HE'S RAPPING OVER AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR. TALKING ABOUT GONORRHEA AND ****ING BITCHES. THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE ****ING DAWSON'S CREEK THEME SONG. I.WANT.TO.KILL.MYSELF.
"I'm singing like Michael Jackson y'all. I'm singing without the little boys and the plastic nose."
"You might get your dick sucked from the back, like what?"
"I'm singing, like Eddie Vader, only better. And making cheddar somehow, and smoking shredder somehow."
The Wizard's Palace: LAST SONG. YAY. This beat is a little bit faster, at least. So they're partying at the wizard's place? The wizard's voice is annoying. Oh, now they're going to light the magic blunt, nice.
"Mr. Lion, you in need of a hoe just blow."
"Your wish was for iron when you made out of steal, but you already the hardest, for real."
FOR **** SAKES, so Batty queued the version with bonus tracks, and isn't skipping. Great.
Final Verdict: Who the **** releases a deluxe version of an EP? I hate this guy. There's nothing to say about this project that I haven't already. I tried to go into it with an open mind, but it's so bad not even Ki would rep this. **** you guys, FAIL.