I'm back, friends! Uh, friends ...?
Considering I just sort of slipped quietly back here without my usual heralds in attendance and a pre-prepared speech, ticker-tape parade and mariachi band, I would just like to a) apologise to anyone who was thinking the worst while I was away and b) thank all who missed me, and who welcomed me back. For anyone who really wants to know what was going on, I can talk to you in PM, but the short version is pretty much as Batty described: sister got really sick, had to spend two months in hospital, had her gall bladder out, then her care package was cancelled so she spent two more weeks in a convalescent home while they sorted that out. I was visiting her every single day for approx 5/6 hours at a time, so knackered when I got home and with zero energy, knowing I had to do the same thing the next day.
I would like to address Yorkedaddy's comment on why I gave up "Love or Hate?" and then undertook the Great Discography Project: I'm someone who likes to be busy, don't like to see a day wasted. I can be as lazy as the next guy, but that only holds for a day or so. If I haven't done something I consider worthwhile I feel the day has been a loss. So when L/H began getting too much I knocked it on the head temporarily, but still wanted to write stuff. GDP gave me a chance to do that on my own terms: L/H was too much pressure, too immediate and also I ended up listening to a lot of material I really had no interest in doing. But as Grindy says, it's the dichotomy of wanting not to burn yourself out but loving what you do, and it's hard to resist being pulled back in. Perhaps it might be the same for those who write novels or play sports or music; you may realise you're pushing yourself and take a break, but you're never going to leave it for good. And as you guys know, I
do love to write reviews!
The initial idea was just for me to take a break from L/H but then the thing with my sis happened and everything had to stop. After it had all settled down I felt a lack of interest in rejoining until very recently, when the itch began again (really should get some cream for that I guess!) and so here we are.
By the way, does anyone know if Roxy can still login/read posts even if she's permabanned, as I'd like to explain why I didn't respond to her messages, and also of course add my condolences for her terrible losses?
One thing that does concern me is DJ's assertion that a) he hates me and b) he has something about me he's holding back which fuels that. I've had fights and knockdown arguments with people (Frown, Chula, YD, Ki) but we've always settled our differences and it would shock me to think someone here hated me as I am generally unhateable, or try to be.
For DJ to actually hate me (and he did use the word, and more than once) I would have thought I would have had to have done something really bad, like kill his cat or run off with his wife, or crap on his doorstep, and I don't remember doing any of that. Maybe I killed his wife and ran off with his cat? No, I think I would remember. So if you're keeping some deep dark secret that I've forgotten about DJ, I'd appreciate knowing about it. Not here, obviously, but you could PM me. I'd really like to know what it is you have against me. It's even odder, as we exchanged PMs a few days ago, talked about our lives and you were civil and polite, not the sort of behaviour or reception I would expect from someone who professes to hate me. So let me know, because you've planted the general seed out there that I did or said something terrible - and maybe I did, but I don't remember - and I'd like to know what that was.
Other than that, I've read through this thread from around the time I disappeared and it's really nice to see that the larger percentage of you seem to have genuinely missed me, and said nice things about me. Not sure I deserve them, but thanks, and now that I am back, I will work to be again worthy of the trust you place in me to kick some life back into this forum, if you feel it needs kicking. Otherwise, I'll just lurk among my many journals...
(You all knew that was coming).
This has been a Trollheart Wall of Text (TM) Production, all rights reserved. Copyright MMXVI.