First Posted in The Couch Potato, May 1 2013
Title: Dark Star
Year: 1974
Genre: Science-Fiction/Black Comedy
Starring: Dan O'Bannon as Sergeant Pinback
Brian Larelle as Lieutenant Doolittle
Cal Kuniholm as Boiler
Dre Pahich as Talby
Joe Saunders as Commander Powell
Adam Beckenbaugh as Bomb Number Twenty
Director: John Carpenter
Writer: Dan O'Bannon and John Carpenter
The directorial debut of the legendary John Carpenter,
Dark Star also became the inspiration for the series
Red Dwarf, and is one of the few science-fiction movies of any era that successfully blends sci-fi tropes with dark comedy. Filmed on a real shoestring budget of about sixty thousand dollars, it's gone down in history as a cult movie, and if you haven't seen it then you really need to. I'm reliably informed it's even better when you're stoned, but I wouldn't know about that. It's also one of the first movies to tackle the thorny issue of isolation in space and the boredom that could and surely will engender.
The basic plot of the movie concerns the scout ship of the same name, which is crewed by five, one of whom is dead. Wait, I will explain shortly. The mission of the ship is to seek out unstable planets which could cause a problem to following colony ships, and destroy them by dropping huge thermostellar bombs on them from space. These planets are few and far between, and the crew have been doing this now for twenty years. Cooped up together with no real privacy and no respite from the unremitting tedium of deep space, they have all in their own way turned peculiar, as each seeks out his own way to combat the mind-numbing boredom and the sameness of every day.
As the movie opens we see a communication coming in from Earth (eighteen parsecs away) in which a member of the brass (NASA or some military agency; we don't know) sympathises with the crew over the loss of their Commander due to a radiation leak. Unbelievably, the general or whatever he is tells them that their request for radiation shielding has been denied, even in the knowledge of the accident which has already claimed one of the crew. Cutbacks in Congress are blamed, and the prohibitive cost of sending a shuttle out to where they are cannot, he says, be justified.
Whether anyone was watching or has heard this transmission is unclear, as next we see the ship slip into orbit around a planet which may be a candidate for destruction. We see the guys, three of them, all working in a very cramped space getting details and data on the planet to ascertain its possibility of contributing to a risk factor: the fourth member of the crew, Talby, sit high above the ship in an observation dome, like the gun turret blisters on World War II bombers. The data confirms the planet is, or could become, unstable and so they drop a thermostellar bomb on it, which completely obliterates it, leaving the way clear for following colonisation ships. The bombs seem to be imbued with some rudimentary intelligence, and Sergeant Pinback talks to Bomb number 19 as he readies it for the drop. Once the bomb leaves the ship,
Dark Star goes into hyperdrive to take the guys out of the blast zone.
The computer informs them that they have destroyed the last unstable planet in this solar system, and they look for their next target. Lieutenant Doolittle, acting commander of the vessel with the death of Powell, seems eager to find another planet they can destroy, and Boiler, another crewman tasked with finding targets, directs them to the Veil Nebula. Doolittle goes to see Talby, and tells him he's concerned that he's isolating himself too much from the rest of the crew, spending all his time in his observation dome. Talby says he doesn't like going down since the commander was killed. Talby tells Doolittle that he is looking forward to seeing a phenomenon called the Phoenix Asteroids, a body of asteroids that circle the universe every twelve trillion years.
Doolittle reveals that what he misses most is surfing. He used to be a great surfer. Boiler amuses himself by shooting things with the only onboard laser rifle, target practice. As Pinback tackles him about it, the computer informs him that it is time for him to feed "the alien", a task Pinback is not looking forward to. Seems some time back the sergeant took the alien onboard as a mascot, and now it is his responsibility to look after it. However when he goes to feed it the alien, resembling nothing more than a brightly-coloured beach ball on legs, is more in the mood for playing, and jumps on his back. He wrestles it off but it gets into the corridor, and when he goes back to get a broom to shoo it back in, it is gone.
After it leads him a merry chase, including a totally hilarious scene where he gets stuck in an elevator, Pinback shoots the alien with a tranquiliser gun, but it shoots across the room like a punctured balloon, and Doolittle later wonders how anything could live if it was only filled with gas? The others aren't interested, though Talby for once shows some leadership qualities and comes down into the main ship, trying to trace the source of the malfunction he detected. Pinback tells the guys that he really isn't the man whose suit he wears: he was refuelling the ship when a naked astronaut ran past him and jumped into a barrel of liquid rocket fuel. Donning the man's discarded suit he tried to save the guy but before he could, he was bundled aboard
Dark Star, and has been here ever since. The guys aren't impressed, as this is not the first time Pinback has told them this story.
Talby calls Doolittle to let him know he has traced the source of the malfunction but it is near the airlock, so he has to put on a spacesuit to investigate. Pinback reviews his personal log, running through entries in which he again recounts the story that he is not Sergeant Pinback at all. He says his real name is Phil Frugge, a maintenance tech. He also talks about Commander Powell's death, complains about Doolittle taking over command, and the others treating him shabbily. He then makes a new entry, again complaining about his treatment and remarking that last week was his birthday and nobody noticed.
The ship arrives at the planet they've been heading towards in the Veil Nebula, and Pinback prepares and arms the bomb. But Talby is in the airlock and tries to tell them that the communication laser, which monitors the bomb drop mechanism, is damaged. Doolittle, concentrating on blowing up the planet, snaps off the com in irritation and the laser goes off, blinding Talby, and he stumbles into the path of the beam, breaking communications between the bomb and its mechanism. When the guys try to drop the already-armed bomb it does not separate from the ship. Suddenly a task which has become mundane, boring, automatic becomes anything but, as the crew scramble to fix the malfunction.
Doolittle orders the bomb to abort its countdown but it will not, and the computer advises them that it has activated dampers which will contain the blast to an area of one mile. With no other ideas, Doolittle revives the commander, who has been kept in a state of cryogenic stasis, to seek his advice. The commander tells Doolittle that he must speak to the bomb, teach it phenomenology. So he goes out in a spacesuit and has an existential conversation with the bomb, while Boiler hits upon the idea of using the laser rifle to shoot out the supporting pins on the bomb and save the ship. Pinback doesn't trust him and tries to stop him. As the two fight, word comes from the computer that the bomb has returned to the bay. Doolittle has been successful.
However, when he tries to re-enter via the rear airlock, Talby, who is still in there, gets blown out and into space. Doolittle goes after him, just as the bomb announces that it has figured out that it is God, and explodes. The two guys on the ship die instantly but Talby is sucked into the approaching Phoenix Asteroids: he will circle the universe as part of them, forever. That leaves Doolittle, who is falling towards the planet they were supposed to destroy. As he falls, he grabs a piece of debris from the ship and using it as a surfboard, rides the last wave of his life down into the planet's atmosphere.
QUOTES
Earth Official: "Sorry to hear about the radiation leak. And real sorry to hear about the death of Commander Powell. There was a week of mourning here on Earth. We're all behind you guys. About your request for radiation shielding: sorry to report this has been denied. I hate to send bad news when you guys are up there doing such a swell job, but I think you'll take it in the proper spirit. There's been some cutbacks in Congress and right now, considering the distance we just can't afford to send a cargo shuttle out there to you. But I know you guys will make do. Keep up the good work, men!"
Pinback: "Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb Number number 19, do you read me, Bomb?"
Bomb 19: "Bomb number 19 to Sergeant Pinback, I read you. Continue."
Pinback: "Well, Bomb, we have about sixty seconds to drop. Just wondering if everything's all right. You checked your platinum duridium energy shiedling?"
(Note: the actual shielding name may be wrong; I'm guessing at the words here as Pinback's delivery is laconic and bored)
Bomb 19: "Energy shielding positive function."
Pinback: "Well, let's synchronise detonation time. Uh, you wouldn't happen to know when you're supposed to go off, would you?"
Bomb 19: "Six minutes, twenty seconds."
Pinback: "All right, that checks out here. Arm yourself, Bomb."
Bomb 19: "Armed."
Pinback: "Well then everything sounds fine. Dropping you off in about thirty five seconds. Good luck."
Bomb 19: "Thanks!"
Doolittle: "What now? What do you have for us Boiler?"
Boiler: "Uh, not much. Nothing at all in this sector."
Doolittle: "Well find me something. I don't care where it is."
Boiler: "Well I show a 95% possibility of intelligent life in the Horsehead Nebula sector."
Doolittle: "Don't give me that kind of bull!"
Boiler: "I know it's a long shot but..."
Doolittle: "Damn wild goose chase, is what it is! Remember when Commander Powell found that 99 plus probabilty of intelligent life in the Magellanic Cloud? Remember what we found? A damn mindless vegetable: looked like a limp balloon. Fourteen light years for a vegetable! Don't give me any of that intelligent life stuff! Find me something I can blow up!"
Doolittle (recording the ship's video log): "Storage Area 9 self-destructed last week, and destroyed the ship's entire supply of toilet paper."
Talby: "Doolittle, I do have a malfunction on this readout but I can't pinpoint it exactly."
Doolittle: "Don't worry about it. We'll find out what it is when it goes bang."
Boiler: "What's Talby's first name?"
Doolittle: "What's
my first name?"
Logscreen: "For official purposes this recording instrument automatically deletes all offensive language and/or gestures".
Doolittle: "Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Something serious has come up. I need to ask you a question."
Powell: "I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle. It's been so long since anyone came to talk with me."
Doolittle: "Commander, Sir, we have a big problem. The Veil Nebula bomb, number 20: it's stuck. It won't drop out of the bomb bay. It refuses to listen and it plans on detonating in (checks watch) less than eleven minutes!"
Powell: "Doolittle, you must tell me one thing."
Doolittle: "What's that, Sir?"
Powell: "Tell me, Doolittle, how are the Dodgers doing?"
Doolittle: "Uh, the Dodgers? They, uh, they broke up. They disbanded, over fifteen years ago."
Powell: "Ah. Pity. Pity."
Doolittle: "But you don't understand, Sir! We can't get the bomb to drop!"
Powell: "Ah. So many problems. Why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me? Did you try the Asimov approach?"
Doolittle: "Yes Sir. Negative effect."
Powell: "What was that, Doolittle?"
Doolittle: "Negative effect, Sir."
Powell: "It didn't work?"
Doolittle: "That's correct, Sir."
Powell: "Sorry Doolittle. I've forgotten so much since I've been in here. So much..."
Doolittle: "What should we do Sir? Time is running out!"
Powell: "Well, you might try ---"
A sudden power surge cuts communications for a few moments and Powell's voice is lost. Doolittle desperately tries to restore contact.
Doolittle: "Commander? Commander Powell? Sorry Sir, you faded out there for a little bit. What was that you were saying about the bomb?"
Powell: "Sorry Doolittle. I've gone blank. Hold it.. I'll have it again in just a few minutes. It seems to me ... sorry ... I forget so many things in here ... So many things ..."
Doolittle: "Commander Sir? You stil there?"
Powell: "Oh yes Doolittle. Sorry. I'm thinking..."
Doolittle: "We're running out of time Sir!"
Powell: "Oh yes. Sorry. Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop, you'll have to talk to it. "
Doolittle: "What?"
Powell: "Talk to the bomb."
Doolittle: "But I have been talking to it, Sir. Pinback's talking to it right now."
Powell: "No, no. You talk to it. Teach it phenomenology, Doolittle."
Doolittle: "Sir?"
Powell: "Phenomenology."
Doolittle: "Hello? Bomb? Are you with me?"
Bomb 20: "Of course."
Doolittle: "Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?"
Bomb 20: "I am always receptive to suggestions."
Doolittle: "Think about this then: how do you know you exist?"
Bomb 20: "Well of course I exist."
Doolittle: "But how do you know?"
Bomb 20: "It is intuitively obvious."
Doolittle: "Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?"
Bomb 20: Well... I think, therefore I am."
Doolittle: "That's good. That's very good. But how do you know that everything else exists?"
Bomb 20: "My sensory apparatus reveals it to me."
Doolittle: "Right."
Bomb 20: "This is fun!"
Doolittle: "Okay now listen: this is the big question. How do you know that the evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct? What I'm getting at is this: the only experience that is directly available to you is the evidence your sensory data, and this sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses that stimulates your computing centre."
Bomb 20: "In other words, all that I really know about the outside world is relayed to me through my electrical connections."
Doolittle: "Exactly."
Bomb 20: "Why, that would mean that I don't really know what the outside universe is like at all for certain."
Doolittle: "That's it!"
Bomb 20: "Intriguing. I wish I had more time to discuss this matter."
Doolittle: "Why don't you have more time?"
Bomb 20: "Because I must detonate in seventy-five seconds."
Doolittle: "Now, bomb, consider this next question very carefully: what is your one purpose in life?"
Bomb 20: "To explode, of course."
Doolittle: "And you can only do it once, right?"
Bomb 20: "That is correct."
Doolittle: "And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you?"
Bomb 20: "Of course not."
Doolittle: "Well then: you've already admitted that you have no real proof of the existence of the outside universe?"
Bomb 20: "Yes... Well..."
Doolittle: "So you have no absolute proof that Sergeant Pinback ordered you to detonate."
Bomb 20: "I recall distinctly the detonation order. My memory is very good on matters such as these."
Doolittle: "Of course you remember it. But all you remember is a series of electonic impulses which you now realise has no definite connection with outside reality."
Bomb 20: "True. But since this is so, I have no proof that you are really telling me all of this."
Doolittle: "That's all beside the point. I mean, the concept is valid no matter where it originates."
Bomb 20: "Hmm."
Doolittle: "So if you detonate in ---"
Bomb 20: "Nine seconds".
Doolittle: "You could be doing so on the basis of false data."
Bomb 20: "I have no proof it was false data."
Doolittle: "You have no proof it was correct data!"
Bomb 20: "I must think on this further."
Bomb 20: "In the beginning there was darkness, and the darkness was without form, and void. And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved on the face of the darkness, and I saw that I was alone. Let there be light."
Doolittle; "Talby? Looks like I'm headed for the planet. I'm going towards it."
Talby: "When you hit the atmosphere you'll begin to burn. What a beautiful way to die, as a falling star!"