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Old 01-26-2006, 07:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
Crazy Luv
a l'amou fou pou tout
 
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 355
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I like it & I dont at the same time. Theres certain parts that are good, then others that are "blah". I dont like the last line on the first stanza for nothing, sorry.
now, this:
Quote:
casting off, building a wing from a prayer
sailing, far for somewhere new, and wondering
will it be exciting, and will it be inviting you
came out of no where, i was like "what the hell". its good, but you could make it into a four line stanza.

I also think the last stanza needs some work
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