The Batlord

Have you ever been in a car accident?

I ran off the road once, but nothing happened and I just went along my way so I don't think that counts. Other than that I was riding in the car with my mom as a little kid when this crazy lady came barrelling head on down the wrong side of the busy road we were driving on. Like, this was a once in a lifetime experience maybe.

I don't even remember exactly how she stopped, but if it hadn't been such a big, busy road in downtown that crazy bitch may very well have crashed head on into us and I wouldn't be here. But there were a bunch of other cars that she had to swerve around and I think we just kind of dinged and then that road was shut down for like twenty minutes until the cops showed up and hauled her off.

She was clearly on drugs too. Her toddler (I'm assuming it was hers) was in a carseat in the back, so I'm hoping she wasn't making the decision to drive into oncoming traffic sober. She was just shouting nonsense the whole time she was stopped, with the highlight being her screaming, "I AM JESUS CHRIST!!!" as she was shoved into the back of a squad car.

The other people on the road had to be the ones to stop her too, cause she refused to stop or get out of the car, even after she was... "stopped" by our bumper. I remember some random guy opening her car door and reaching over this crazy bitch to pull out her car kers. I never thought about it before, but I guess that guy was kind of a hero. Who knows whether or not she would have tried to run him over or was armed or just plain crazy enough to go for the eyes?

What are the three best things about you?

1. My winning personality.

2. My music taste.

3. My comic book collection.

What is your best and worst memory from High School.

You can have good memories from high school? Honestly all of high school was just one morass of ****, but I guess the worst might be when me and a classmate played gay chicken in military school with other people around. It was all gay fun and games until word spread around the school, and I doubt many of you have ever been to a place that is so isolated and homophobic as a boarding school full of delinquents. I never got my ass kicked, but for several months afterward the normal scorn I received was at least doubled, and I even had at least one instance of a cadet officer and a cadet sergeant basically forcing their way into my room and harassing me for several minutes while I had to stand at attention and just take it.

I was even called to our version of the principal's office the next day and asked what happened. The tone of the conversation was basically, "Are you a ***got?", and considering that two guys had already been kicked out of school for supposedly getting caught having sex it was some pretty serious ****.

What is your favorite childhood book?

Dinotopia.

If you could shop for free at one store. What store would it be?

I mean, Amazon is the only intelligent answer.

What is an album you love that you're certain very few people have heard?

If it weren't for me winning so many people over to it on this site I'd say Arkangel's Dead Man Walking, but other than us I'm pretty sure it's still very obscure. Otherwise I'd say Merauder's Master Killer. Also, it's too new to me for me to truly say I love it, but Invocator's Excursion Demise is an album that in a year would definitely qualify.

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