I'll go with Jack Bruce of Cream, or Jaco Pastorius. Always my top two favorites.
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"The human rectum is almost nightmarishly elastic. I had four Rubik's cubes jammed up there one day on a bet with Brian Dennehy, when a heroin-crazed Rodney Allen Rippy burst into my trailer and punched me right in the solar plexus. I shat out all four cubes and damned if they didn't emerge solved."
--Patton Oswalt as Robert Evans
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