Quote:
Originally Posted by Trollheart
It's very good, even if I don't get the connection between the three different scenes. One small point of criticism: you keep veering in your tenses. First it's "I see the creature" then it's "I walked out of the room" and then "I cannot move". Not sure if that's intentional or not (I do it myself quite often, just forgetting) but it certainly is a little disorientating.
|
I never notice this but it does seem like I'm not good at that now that I do