Howdy parnders! Y'know, time was when a man couldn't walk into one of them pitcher houses without seein' a movie 'bout cowboys and how it was in the old West. Glenn Ford, John Wayne, Gary Cooper ... you name it, them boys was up on the big screen a-whoopin' an' a-hollerin' an' showin' us what it was like to be a cowboy. Then this new-fangled telly-vishun come along, an' darned if the ol' Western movie ain't still popular as a whore in a jailhouse! Hell, they even done made series about cowboys. But that ain't none of our concern here. What we're lookin' at here, friends, is moo-vies.
Serious movies. Funny movies. Weird movies. Shoot! We even done got one with them thar alien fellas in it, I kid ye not! So if you're the kinda hombre who likes to see a man saddle up and strap on his gunbelt, stick around cos we got a whole passel o' em to get through here, and, well, ye know son, we may be here for some time. You like Clint Eastwood? We got Clint Eastwood. You like them that Magnificent Seven? Hey, no problem. Your tastes run more to that James Garner fella? Shoot, I like him! Yeah, we got something for everyone. We even got ones with cowboys singin' – yeah you heard me – and one with a liz – uh, what in the Sam Hill are you boys feedin' me here? Fer jest a minute there ah thought this said ... you don't say? Well I'll be hornswoggled! Folks, we got us a movie with a lizard! Yup, an' he ain't gettin' shot at in the desert neither. Well if that don't beat all! Durn little guy's a sheriff! Don't reckon ah'd want to live in that town!
So saddle up and check yer pistol is loaded, cos this here is Apache country, and it don't do to pass through here unarmed. We got a long way to go boy, so let's hit that trail and not look back. Yee-haw!
The schoolmarm very kindly arranged these here films in alfee – alfa – elfa – order of them there letters, one after t'other, but we ain't gonna be follerin' no consarned order, hell no! This is jest so as you fellas can see what may be a-comin' up in the future. You done think you know a movie that ain't here, well you just head on down to the telegraph office and drop me a few lines, and ah'll see what ah can do. Not makin' no promises, mind!
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Across the wide Missouri (1951)
The Alamo (1960)
Along the Great Divide (1951)
Annie Get Your Gun (1950)
The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
The Big Country (1958)
Billy the Kid (1989)
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Brimstone (2016)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Broken Arrow (1950)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Calamity Jane (1953)
Cat Ballou (1965)
The Cowboys (1972)
Cowboys and aliens (2011)
Dances With Wolves (1990)
Diablo (2016)
Django (1966)
Django, kill ... If you live, shoot! (1967)
The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox (1976)
El Dorado (1966)
Evil Roy Slade (1972)
Fancy Pants (1950)
A Fistful of Dollars (1964)
A Fisftul of Dynamite (1971)
For a Few Dollars Less (1966)
For a Few Dollars More (1965)
Fort Apache (1948)
The Frisco Kid (1979)
Forsaken (2016)
Giant (1956)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
Gunfight at the OK Corral (1957)
Gunsmoke (1953)
Guns of the Magnificent Seven (1969)
Geronimo (1993)
Hang 'em High (1968)
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Heaven's Gate (1980)
High Noon (1952)
High Plains Drifter (1973)
How the West Was Won (1962)
Legends of the Fall (1994)
The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)
Lone Star (1952)
The Long Riders (1980)
The Magnificent Seven (1960)
The Magnificent Seven Ride (1972)
A Man Called Horse (1970)
The Man from Laramie (1955)
Maverick (1994)
McClintock! (1963)
The Missouri Breaks (1976)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
Oklahoma! (1955)
Open Range (2003)
The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
Pale Rider (1985)
Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973)
Paint Your Wagon (1969)
The Paleface (1948)
Posse (1975)
Purgatory (1999)
Rango (2011)
The Return of a Man Called Horse (1976)
Return of the Seven (1966)
The Revenant (2015)
Rio Grande (1950)
Rooster Cogburn (1975)
Santa Fe (1951)
The Searchers (1956)
Shane (1953)
Shenandoah (1965)
She Wore a yellow Ribbon (1949)
Silverado (1985)
Soldier Blue (1970)
Son of Paleface (1952)
Son of the Morning Star (1991)
Streets of Laredo (1949)
Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969)
Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971)
They Died with Their Boots On (1941)
Tombstone (1993)
True Grit (1969)
Two Mules for Sister Sara (1970)
Unforgiven (1992)
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Wild Wild West (1999)
Wyatt Earp (1994)
Young Guns (1988)
Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990)