The Batlord

Obviously gotta start this at the beginning. Gonna do this track by track cause I wanna talk about every song Ke$ha ever made.


1. Your Love Is My Drug: Pretty sure the first Ke$ha song I ever heard, as I think it was her first single, but at the time I could have given a ****. I just didn't wanna know about pop, but soon I would at least be receptive.

Pretty ****ing excellent pop, but not a fav tbh. Partly because I think it was meant to be a more pop oriented single to dip people's toes into what would soon become known as KE$HA, and so it doesn't quite reflect her trashy schtick (being a tame love song) or the filthy club banger sound that is her trademark. Even the party hound white girl rap is toned down.

It doesn't help that it's three minutes of not listening to "Tik Tok" at the beginning of the album, so I almost always end up skipping it to get to what I really want. Still a good song though.

2. TiK ToK: I have no idea what the **** "Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy" means, but it's still one of my favorite Ke$ha lines ever. It's retarded, indefinably trashy, and opens the best pop song ever recorded.

I love pretty much everything about this song to a factor of 11. The silly lyrics, the drankass delivery, the uber-party vibe, the trash, the pure vibe of glitz and euphoria, the drop into the chorus that gets me hyped each and every time I hear it, the thumping bass when it hits. It's simply the quintessential Ke$ha song, and if hell ever freezes over and I throw a block party, this will get played at midnight and I will shoot anyone who doesn't get down and scream the words.

In fact, the only thing I don't worship about "Tik Tok" is that pointless melodic interlude at around the 2:00 mark, but everything else grants this song so much license with me that I could give a ****. It's like a genius, Batman comics fan, lingerie model nymphomaniac who listens to Nickelback. Who the **** really cares about that one thing when everything else is so overwhelmingly amazing?

Some of the better lyrical gems...

Keep on keepin' on, Ke$ha. Even if you never quite top "Tik Tok" I'll still remember you when I'm 60 if for no other reason than giving me this pop ambrosia of the gods.

3. Take It Off: The second perfect song on this album is only the slightest step down from "Tik Tok", but that still makes it pop nirvana.

As with every brilliant Ke$ha track, the ****ty, orgasmic beat drives you along until a majestic chorus, when the beat intensifies into a lush orgy of retard pop bliss. I don't know why people bitch about Ke$ha's use of auto-tune, like, in the context of unapologetic dance pop there are few things that integrate the vocals as well into the production, and when done correctly (as Ke$ha does), the result is some of the most immersive trash one could ever find.

Not sure what else to say about this song, cause let's face it, Animal isn't an album of great diversity, so what I said about "Tik Tok" will apply to a lot of the songs, but when you're me, and all you want is three-minute pop masterpiece after three-minute pop masterpiece, then who the **** cares?

4. Kiss 'n' Tell: It's probably around here that the moderate naysayers start to complain. This song follows the same pattern as the rest, but does it amazingly, rather than perfectly, and so the so-called "cracks" start to appear. Animal certainly isn't Ke$ha's most consistent release, but for the most part even the songs others might criticize are still pretty great.

Like I said, this song is basically a clone of the last two, but concentrates more on Ke$ha's put-on personality rather than being the ultimate club hit, so it's actually just a bit musically reserved. And juvenile. Oh so juvenile. Gloriously juvenile.

Ke$ha talks to her boyfriend, who has cheated on her, but rather than weeping or excoriating him, she mocks him for being stupid enough to brag about it. Ke$ha doesn't always consistently portray her "personality", but here is an underrated example of Ke$ha as the brash party girl who could give a **** about a guy's bull****. It's dumb as ****, so ****ing dumb, embarrassing even, but god damn is it oddly charming to me.

5. Stephen: Oh god, this ****ing song. The worst song Ke$ha ever recorded? Quite possibly. I generally don't go to pop for ballads, and while Ke$ha would put out some surprisingly solid ones on subsequent albums, the slow songs on Animal are pretty horrendous. Like, gun to the head make it stop.

The hook, with its lame vocoder effects, is downright irritating, the song itself is insipid and wildly boring, and the lyrics are simply not Ke$ha. Moping after some arbitrary dude? Gag.

Moving the **** on...

6. Blah Blah Blah (feat. 3OH!3): And here we have yet more club pop sex. The lyrics are all party, all trash, all Ke$ha, all the time, and the chorus is so brilliantly idiotic that it comes back around to genius.

Ke$ha, I love you. No one else could write that **** and pull it off. No one. Britney? Blah. Madonna? Blah. Kylie? Blah. Christina? Nah. Taylor? Nah. Carly? Nah.

Car car car.

7. Hungover: This ballad isn't as cringe-inducing as "Stephen", but it still sucks balls. "Stephen" is awful for reasons already stated, but "Hungover" isn't even notable for being annoying. It's just dull. The chorus is decent, gives the song a bit of personality, but it's still cutting room floor quality.

The biggest problem I have with Animal is these two songs. They sit right there in the middle of the album, like fresh turds, killing the amazing momentum, and leave the rest of the album to pick up the pieces, which it has a hard time doing as most of the best songs are already over. But the curtain hasn't fallen, and there's still greatness to be had.

NEXT!!!

8. Party at a Rich Dude's House: Picking the dumbest song on a Ke$ha album is like picking the best: impossible (unless it's "Tik Tok"). I guess "Party at a Rich Dude's House", by some unholy act, is actually not the dumbest, but it is certainly the most brilliantly dumb as exemplified by its title.

It's just another party song, but it's a party... at a rich dude's house. And Ke$ha threw up in Paris Hilton's closet. That actually happened too. Amazing.

The simple, brain dead garage rock(?) riff that forms the backbone of the beat is also an awesome bit of... "diversity" to liven up proceedings after the two ballads, and works about as well as rock as it does as pop.

"Party at a Rich Dude's House" is yet another perfect pop song, getting the album back on track brilliantly, and yet again shows off the insane, inane Ke$ha pesona to all of the horrified world.

9. Backstabber: One of Ke$ha's "pretty good" songs, there isn't a whole lot to say that hasn't already been said. Trashy lyrics (actually kinda uninspired as far as Ke$ha goes), meh verses, but that chorus' piercing autotune gives the song a memorability that saves it from complete irrelevance.

So yeah, pretty good. If you're a Ke$ha fan then you'll probably dig it, but otherwise you can safely avoid. Wouldn't have missed "Backstabber" had it been left off the album tbh, but it's still another Ke$ha song for me to listen to while waiting for her next release, so it's worthwhile for that at least.

And that's about all there is to say.

10. Blind: The only reason this whiny ballad isn't as terrible as the first two is because the chorus is absolute gold. If I were actively listening I'd say the song was meh, but if I'm internet surfing and not really paying attention after about thirty minutes of Ke$ha goodness, and the rest of the song fades into the background only to catch my attention with the chorus, then this song somehow rises to pretty durn good status. So this song is entirely a chorus to me basically.

Seriously, Ke$ha, nobody wants to hear you cry about losing some dude. You pulled it off with "The Harold Song" on Cannibal, but thank god you realized it wasn't your thing for the most part after this album.

That is one awesome chorus though.

11. Dinosaur: The things I would say about this song I would also say about "Backstabber". Except that while it's just a "pretty good" song, the lyrics about being grossed out about an old man of indeterminate decrepitude, topped off by a hook where Ke$ha actually spells the word "dinosaur", is one of the most gloriously idiotic moments on the album. No, actually it wins that Ke$ha-only contest. This song is in fact the stupidest thing Ke$ha ever recorded.

Bask in it. Wait, I almost didn't post the chorus. Shame on me.

12. Dancing with Tears in My Eyes: And here we are at the back end of the album, an album that by all rights should have ended with a whimper, but is in fact still going pretty well. This is the best song since "Party at a Rich Dude's House", and while it doesn't have that Ke$ha pizzazz that makes her best work so brash and iconoclastic and delightfully classless, it's still an excellent showcase for her highly-developed pop sensibilities. Pretty much the same thing as all the other club thumpers, but done well, if obviously not as well as her best. If nothing else, Ke$ha can still save filler by chucking in a good chorus.

If you're still listening then this is perfectly fine. If not then don't worry. You'll be a'ight.

13. Boots & Boys: With the club beats and party girl lyrics, it's easy to draw comparisons with Ke$ha's debut to Lady GaGa's, but at its best the pseudo-rap delivery and ridiculous lyrics very much give Animal it's own identity, but this song is definitely an outtake from The Fame. "Boots & Boys" is a perfectly fun pop song, but it betrays GaGa's influence to an extent that makes it derivative. But it's still pretty fun, so, cool.

14. Animal: This is probably the biggest departure on the album. It's not trashy in the Ke$ha way, it's euro disco techno pop in the Kylie vein, and is as fun, euphoric, and atmospheric as that implies. It's also a bit balladish, and shows the better direction Ke$ha's later ballads would take, but it's still mostly just solid. The positive vibes make it better as a closer though than a standalone song, so it still has its worth, and leaves Animal with a better final impression than it would otherwise have.

And so we reach the end of Ke$ha's debut.


Final Verdict: If you're paying attention to Animal as a whole then this is merely a highly decent pop album (nearly great if compared to many of its contemporaries), but if you're doing it right and concentrating on the first half, skipping the lame ballads, and absorbing the choruses of the later filler while looking at memes on Imgur, then it is a wart-faced masterpiece. Ke$ha would better this on her next two releases, but as a primer for the Ke$ha persona it is invaluable and magnificent.

And "Tik Tok" is god.


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