I honestly think it's impossible to really appreciate what death entails until you lose a parent, or a sibling. I'd seen aunts die before and it was harrowing (especially the first one, to whom I was really close) but when my mother passed away it really sunk in. I think the main thing I suddenly realised was that I was on my own - well, we all were - no more Ma there to talk to, discuss things with, laugh with, cry with, make things better. She passed when I was 28 but I still felt like a little kid when it happened: just so numb and unable to understand and lost and bereft. It's a terrible thing to go through, and then for a while you kind of just think of her (well, I did, as I don't really believe in religion or life after death) alone in the earth and my heart would break. Even when I go up to her grave now, I go for Karen, not me: it does nothing for me to stand beside her grave and talk to her. I can do that any time, any where.
Maybe it's easier for those who do firmly believe. Comments? Experiences?
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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
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