My guess is that someone the main character knows is about to be executed? and that they (the main character) are saying they can no longer care?
I have a few comments on the wording.
Quote:
and if I let you see me cry
that's not the wind that's in my eye
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this line seems rather awkward, as if you forced the rhyme too much.
plus I've never liked using any swear word but
fuck in my writing.