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riseagainstrocks · 02-07-2006, 02:47 PM

I'd like it more if you didn't spend half of your time adding smilies to the end of it.

it's very self-deprecating, and depressing. You don't address the fundamental question of why. Also try and add some poetic language into it. No matter what the theme is, it will always sound better with some nice flowy words added in.

02-07-2006, 02:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	I'd like it more if you didn't spend half of your time adding smilies to the end of it. it's very self-deprecating, and depressing. You don't address the fundamental question of why. Also try and add some poetic language into it. No matter what the theme is, it will always sound better with some nice flowy words added in. __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...