An omphaloskeptical take on I Wish I Was A Mole in the Ground
I wish I was a mole in the ground.
Yes, I wish I was a mole in the ground.
[retreat, if available, is the obvious solution]
‘F I’se a mole in the ground, I’d root that mountain down,
And I wish I was a mole in the ground.
Oh, Kimpy wants a nine-dollar shawl.
Yes, Kimpy wants a nine-dollar shawl.
When I come o’er the hill with a forty-dollar bill,
[kimpy isn't a real name and not even old timey]
‘Tis, “Baby, where you been so long?”
I been in the Bend so long.
Yes, I been in the Bend so long.
I been in the Bend with the rough and rowdy men.
‘Tis, “Baby, where you been so long?”
[rough and rowdy fruit loops]
I don’t like a railroad man.
No, I don’t like a railroad man.
‘Cause a railroad man, they’ll kill you when he can,
And drink up your blood like wine.
Oh, I wish I was a lizard in the spring.
Yes, I wish I was a lizard in the spring.
‘F I’se a lizard in the spring, I’d hear my darlin’ sing,
An’ I wish I was a lizard in the spring.
Come, Kimpy, let your hair roll down.
Kimpy let your hair roll down.
Let your hair roll down and your bangs curl around.
Oh, Kimpy, let your hair roll down.
I wish I was a mole in the ground.
Yes, I wish I was a mole in the ground.
‘F I’se a mole in the ground, I’d root that mountain down,
An’I wish I was a mole in the ground.