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Old 10-18-2017, 10:41 AM   #15172 (permalink)
The Batlord
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
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A post from my first journal that I think is one of my best and I feel deserves being unearthed. It was even years before everyone thought I was a Nazi.

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Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Hitler Reviews Marduk's Panzer Division Marduk









Guten tag, Party people! Mein gutt friend, Herr Batlord, hast asked me to do a review for his racially superior music journal unt I haf agreed. Black metal ist near unt dear to mein herz unt Marduk's Panzer Division Marduk ist an album zat I haf been meaning to listen to for years. I burned ze title track onto a compilation CD years ago, but I never quite got around to listening to ze rest of zis album, so I'm doing so now...




Mein Gott, zis ist some intense stuff! Marduk ist a black metal band, unt zis definitely has a ton ov black metal influence, but zis ist just as much a deaz metal album. But zis ist different from any blackened deaz metal zat I can think ov. It's just totally intense unt pretty much puts ze pedal to ze metal from ze word "Schnell!" unt doesn't slow down till ze album ist over. It hast nein self consciously "Evil" atmosphere. It hast nein lo fi aesthetic. In fact ze production ist actually rather clean unt gives ze music a fullness zat gives it an impact zat black metal usually does not haf. It's only goal ist to launch an aural blitzkrieg on ze Poland ov your unsuspecting eardrums. Ze album starts vith a sample of mein Wehrmacht soldiers screaming, "FIRE!" unt a barrage ov artillery fire, vich is pretty much ze perfect segue into ze holocaust to come. I sort of imagine zat zis is going to become an endurance test after a few songs.

After having listened to ze whole zing, it's pretty much vat I expected. I don't zink I can actually pick out any songs zat really sound different from vone anozer. Zey're all pretty much ze same blast unt grind. Zere are parts zat break up vat could be monotonous, but in general, ja, it's all ze same zing. It ist actually pretty cartoonish. Ze entire album ist vone long blastbeat unt ze riffs are likevise ze same zing recycled over unt over again. Any band vith an ounce ov creativity vould be ashamed ov zemselves for recording such an unimaginative piece ov utter sheisse. Yet, for some reason I actually kind of love zis. It's so intense zat I can't zink of anyzing quite like it. It even makes Suffocation unt Cryptopsy look restrained. Mayhem? Untermenschen. It ist just so committed to unrestrained brutality zat zere just isn't room for diversity. I vish I had zis album to listen to ven I invaded Russia. It's pretty much just a zirty minute long force ov nature. Unt zank Gott it's only zirty minutes long. Any longer unt it vould seriously outlive its willkommen. Zis isn't somezing I'd listen to every day, but ven I'm in ze mood I doubt zat anyzing but zis vould do. I guess you could say Anaal Nazrakh, but even Ze Codex Necro ist not so myopically intense.



Spoiler for Ve haf ways ov making you click.:







Disclaimer: No Jews were harmed in the writing of this review.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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