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Old 02-21-2006, 06:19 AM   #51 (permalink)
Mr Sensitive
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In the Noodle Mines
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"Oh my God, what complete and utter ****ing garbage this is. I’m not even going to bother doing a little rundown of this magazine’s features like I’ve done with the others, because this magazine is just ****ing beneath it. Imagine going into the mall, lying down in Hot Topic, and letting all the ****ing mall-punks, emo kids, retarded scenesters, and semi-goths just piss all over your face. That’s what trying to wade through AP is like. For one thing, it’s just ****ing aesthetically offensive. It looks awful, like the Geocities homepage of some adolescent angstaholic girl. The colors are sickening, the fonts are all skewed for maximum extremeness, and the layout somehow produces a sort of nauseating nervous tension. It’s riddled with errors, such as crediting Michel Gondry (they spell it “Gondy”) and Charlie Kaufman with directing and writing “Saved.” The features are all about ****ty scenesters emo-pop-punk bands who all look and sound exactly the same and should probably just be ****ing burnt for fuel before they turn any more of America’s youth into slutty little sad-sack LiveJournal cretins. I made it through all the other magazines. I made it through the ****ing death metal magazine. Not Alternative Press, though. Alternative Press is whack. It’s filled with pathetic, ugly, self-destructive desperation, like a fourteen-year-old girl with a crush on the thirty-year-old hipster who works at the record store. I’m a bastard. I’m cynical, and I expect the worst from everything. But I honestly had no idea that music magazines could be this bad." - Dr. David Thope on the music magazine Alternitive Press.
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